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"I Can't Receive Love."

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"I Can't Receive Love."
Do you have trouble giving and receiving love? You CAN heal this.

Lindsay wrote the following during one of my webinars:

"I can't receive love. Physically, not even a kiss or stroke of kindness. I was never told 'you're awesome, great job, you're beautiful, you can do anything.' Therefore it's hard for me to receive love and feel worthy."

More from YourTango: How Far Am I In The Narcissism World?

Lindsay, it is very hard to grow up with no love. You are certainly not alone in this experience. Growing up without any physical affection or emotional support is a very sad and lonely thing.

However, your conclusion — that you can't receive love because you weren't loved — is false. I work with many people who were not only not loved, but who were very badly abused, and yet they are still capable of giving and receiving love.

The problem right now is that you see yourself as a victim of your childhood. You believe that your current inability to receive love and feel worthy is caused by what your childhood caregivers did, rather than by how you are currently treating yourself.

While your low self-worth started as a child, the fact that it continues now is because of your own self-abandonment.

Lindsay, you have the opportunity right now to learn to love and value the little child within you who is desperate for love — for your love. You will not feel worthy of love, nor be able to give and receive love from others, until you decide to learn to be the loving parent to yourself that you never had.

You will not be able to open to and trust others' love until you become a trustworthy loving adult to the little girl within you. Only when you learn to love and value yourself will you be able to open your heart to others and risk being hurt.

More from YourTango: Using Your Inner Strengths To Become More Intimate

Opening our heart to love can lead to hurt. Our heart can be hurt by others' unloving behavior toward us, or by someone we love dying. The only way we can fully risk loving with an open heart is to know that we can manage the pain of heartbreak.

Lindsay, it is not that you CAN'T receive love but that you WON'T. You are choosing to protect yourself against pain rather than choosing to love yourself and share your love with others.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

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