Sean and his wife want to resolve some issues in their sexual relationship, but they can't begin to address the issues if their intent is to protect/control. They first need to open to learning about their intent before they can open to learning about the issue. This is true of all issues. It's actually relatively easy to resolve most issues once both people are open to learning, but it's impossible when one or both are closed, defended, protected and controlling.
Being open to learning about our protective, controlling behavior is a wonderful thing to do with a partner. You will be amazed at the level of intimacy and connection that result when each of you opens to learning about your defensiveness, judgments, anger, blame, withdrawal and resistance. You will experience a huge sense of relief when each of you becomes open and accountable for your own beliefs, fears and resulting protective, controlling behavior. Then, with openness, you can explore issues, including sexual issues.
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