How Control Cuts Off Communication

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remote control
Are you really trying to communicate? Or are you trying to control your partner?

Yet, within a short time of moving into a committed relationship, they stopped learning and started controlling. Instead of giving and sharing, they are now trying to get something from each other. They get stuck in a system where they each want control over getting what they want from the other person - understanding, acceptance, time, attention, approval, affection, or sex. As soon as they start to try to have control over getting what they want, they are likely to get into power struggles, as one or both resist being controlled, or one continually gives in and then feels used and resentful.

When each partner learns how to take responsibility for their own feelings of worth and wellbeing, and they let go of trying to control the other while opening learning about themselves and each other, they regain their ability to communicate. They don't even need to learn how to communicate! Good communication comes naturally when the intent of the communication is to learn rather than to control.

 

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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