"Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suck the life out of you if you allow them to spend time with you. I know you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or you, so you have to let them go. It is not in your highest good to be with people who are incapable of valuing you - who just want to take from you."
"But can't I help them?"
"No, because they are not asking for help. I know you have believed that if you just love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not open to your love. They feel inadequate in the face of your open heart and their closed hearts, and they take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they can do that. It is unlikely that your mother or brother will ever open their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does."
"But I have such a great life now. Isn't it selfish of me to just let them go?"
"No, it is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly."
Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that all she could do was pray for them to open their hearts.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.