Family Ties - When to Let Go

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Family Ties - When to Let Go
It is often challenging to make the decision to let go of abusive family relationships.

"Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suck the life out of you if you allow them to spend time with you. I know you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or you, so you have to let them go. It is not in your highest good to be with people who are incapable of valuing you - who just want to take from you."

"But can't I help them?"

 

"No, because they are not asking for help. I know you have believed that if you just love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not open to your love. They feel inadequate in the face of your open heart and their closed hearts, and they take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they can do that. It is unlikely that your mother or brother will ever open their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does."

"But I have such a great life now. Isn't it selfish of me to just let them go?"

"No, it is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly."

Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that all she could do was pray for them to open their hearts.

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This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? To begin to learn Inner Bonding, take our FREE Inner Bonding course. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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