Do You Want To Connect With Your Partner?
By Dr. Margaret Paul. Posted on .
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Each person is taking responsibility for their own feelings and needs and comes to their partner full of love to share. Neither comes as a complaining victim.
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Both partners come together connected with themselves.
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Each person comes to the other open hearted and open to learning about themselves and each other.
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Each person has their own highest good and their partner's highest good at heart.
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Each person wants to lovingly connect, more than they want to avoid the pain of being hurt.
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Each person is willing to risk being honest.
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Each person is willing to risk being spontaneous with their expressions of love and caring.
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Each person is willing to risk losing the other, rather than lose themselves.
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Each person is more interested in loving and connecting than in being right or not being wrong.
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Both people have done the Inner Bonding work necessary to not take the other’s behavior personally.
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Both people cherish their own and their partner's core Self and have learned to be non-reactive to each other's wounded self.
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Both partners are capable of compassion toward themselves and of empathy and compassion toward and each other.
- Both listen well to each other.
If you want connection with your partner but find yourself often feeling lonely and disconnected, then be honest with yourself: how many of the first list do you identify with?
While you cannot make your partner do the inner work necessary to lovingly connect, there is nothing to stop you from doing the work. You never know what the outcome will be regarding connecting with each other, but what you can count on is that if you continue doing what you've been doing, which leads to disconnection, it will certainly not get better and it may get worse. What do you have to lose by becoming a person available for real loving connection?
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!
More from YourTango: The Goals of Controlling Behavior In Relationships
Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.






