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Do You Want To Connect With Your Partner?

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Do You Want To Connect With Your Partner?
Discover what you might be doing that leads to disconnection with your partner.
  • Each person is taking responsibility for their own feelings and needs and comes to their partner full of love to share. Neither comes as a complaining victim.
     
  • Both partners come together connected with themselves.
     
  • Each person comes to the other open hearted and open to learning about themselves and each other.
     
  • Each person has their own highest good and their partner's highest good at heart.
     
  • Each person wants to lovingly connect, more than they want to avoid the pain of being hurt.
     
  • Each person is willing to risk being honest.
     
  • Each person is willing to risk being spontaneous with their expressions of love and caring.
     
  • Each person is willing to risk losing the other, rather than lose themselves.
     
  • Each person is more interested in loving and connecting than in being right or not being wrong.
     
  • Both people have done the Inner Bonding work necessary to not take the other’s behavior personally.
     
  • Both people cherish their own and their partner's core Self and have learned to be non-reactive to each other's wounded self.
     
  • Both partners are capable of compassion toward themselves and of empathy and compassion toward and each other.
     
  • Both listen well to each other.

If you want connection with your partner but find yourself often feeling lonely and disconnected, then be honest with yourself: how many of the first list do you identify with?

While you cannot make your partner do the inner work necessary to lovingly connect, there is nothing to stop you from doing the work. You never know what the outcome will be regarding connecting with each other, but what you can count on is that if you continue doing what you've been doing, which leads to disconnection, it will certainly not get better and it may get worse. What do you have to lose by becoming a person available for real loving connection?

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!

More from YourTango: The Goals of Controlling Behavior In Relationships

Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

The Goals of Controlling Behavior In Relationships

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All of us are controlling in one way or another, yet many of us are not aware of what it is we are trying to control in our relationships. I've found that there are two major areas in which we may try to control others: • Behaviors • Feelings Sometimes we try to control what people do, and other times we may try to control how they ... Read more

Soul Connections

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I'm sure that all of us feel more connected with some people than with others. Sometimes, we feel an instant connection with someone we just met. How can we account for this? Psychologist Michael Newton, author of Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls, has conducted thousands of hypnosis sessions with individuals who, during the hypnosis sessions, ... Read more

Are You Always Trying to Prove Your Love?

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Melanie grew up with a narcissistic mother who demanded that Melanie conform to her concept of how a child should behave. To protect herself from her mother's anger, blame and disapproval, Melanie tried to be the "perfect child". She got excellent grades in school, was obedient at home, and never did anything to cause her parents to worry about ... Read more

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