If you ask almost any overweight person, "Do you really want to lose weight?" the answer is likely, "Yes, I would love to lose weight."
Most overweight and obese people want so much to lose weight that they spend billions a year trying, so why is our country growing fatter? Why aren't people losing weight when they say that this is what they want to do?
The answer is that, as much as they want to lose weight, there is something they want even more: they want to fill their emptiness and avoid their painful feelings.
The problem is, food works too well to temporarily fill up inner emptiness and cover over painful feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, aloneness, sadness, grief, hurt, frustration, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame and so on. If you don't know how to stop creating your own emptiness and aloneness, and how to manage and learn from the painful feelings of life, you have to find some way of filling the emptiness and avoiding the pain. Food is an available and easy way of doing this, but it is really no different than any other addiction. All addictions are ways of trying to fill the inner emptiness and avoid painful feelings.
While some people manage to force themselves to lose weight through rigid dieting, most gain it back. Unless you learn to deal with the issues underlying your food addiction, you will likely not be able to keep off the weight.
What creates the inner emptiness and some of the painful feelings that lead to food addiction? Self-Abandonment.
Most people have learned to abandon themselves in a number of ways: