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Many pop culture examples point to the external "breakovers" women engage in following a breakup (e.g. Gwyneth Paltrow's adorable hair chop in Sliding Doors, Britney Spears' infamous shaved head during the rough year that followed her divorce from Kevin Federline). Is there really something to this? Can cutting our hair or buying a new outfit help us get to a place of being "over" an ex? Break Up With Your Ex 2012: A User's Guide
The results of a recent YourTango survey seem to answer "yes." Of the 1,329 people polled by YourTango between December 21, 2011 and January 9, 2012:
• 64% said they tend to change their appearance after a breakup, with the most common change being weight loss, as 35% said that breaking up motivates them to hit the gym or start a new diet.
• 30% said they buy new clothing or makeup after a breakup, and 26% rock a new hairstyle.
• Only 7% said they gain weight after a breakup, and 2% are likely to get tattoos after a split.
• 84% of respondents agree that breaking up with someone can be a good opportunity for self-improvement.
• The third most popular activity people recommend to someone getting over a breakup is to go shopping (first is "spend time with friends" and second is "exercise").
So what's behind this urge to revamp our appearance post-breakup?
When we break up a relationship, we want to change something because something hasn't worked. Our culture is very focused on externals, especially on looks, so it makes sense that the first thing we want to change is our looks—weight, hair, make-up, clothing. We want to convince ourselves that changing something external will make a difference next time around. There is certainly nothing wrong with making these changes, as they will likely make us feel better for the time being. But let's not kid ourselves—the relationship didn't end due to our hairstyle, and truly getting over a breakup requires some deeper, inner self-improvement. 10 Apps That'll Help You Forget Your Ex
What really needs to be changed? If you want to feel better and not repeat the same mistakes, then you need to examine your end of the relationship system. Relationships end for many reasons, but there is often one primary reason underlying all the others: self-abandonment. 3 Ways To Attract Your Mate Through Self Love
Next: Examining and healing patterns of self-abandonment and control...
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