Boundaries: From Fear or Love?

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Boundaries: From Fear or Love?
Boundaries are important, but when they come from fear, they are controlling rather than loving.

When being right, or not being rejected or controlled by another, is more important than being loving to yourself and others, your wounded self is in charge. When you find yourself feeling righteous, resistant, judgmental, angry or shut down, notice your intent. What is most important to you in this moment? Are you afraid that opening to learning and loving makes you too vulnerable to being controlled by others? Do you feel that opening your heart is giving in to someone who wants you to be open? Are you afraid that you will not know how to take good care of yourself if someone gets angry, critical, or in some other way invasive or rejecting? If this is what you are experiencing, then you need to look at your relationship with your higher Guidance. Are you shut off from receiving the messages from Spirit regarding loving action? Do you feel that no one is really there to help you, that you have to know what to do and do it all yourself?

It is only when we are open to learning and loving that we can feel, hear, and perceive the messages that are always coming to us from our spiritual Guidance. It is only then that we can know how to take loving care of ourselves in the moment.. When we are afraid to be that open to God/Spirit, then we are stuck doing it all ourselves. When this is the case, it is time to examine our false beliefs about Divine Love.

Life becomes much more peaceful and fun when we do not have to protect ahead of time. We end up with much more energy when we do not have to constantly figure out ahead of time how to be safe, trusting that our loving adult, in co-creation with God, will take the appropriate action to keep us safe.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.


Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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