The Art of Listening

By

The Art of Listening
Really listening to someone is a great gift, but sometimes it’s not appropriate to listen.

If your partner is open, this dialogue can continue until it feels complete to both of you. Or, if your partner does not want to hear why you were late without calling, you need to let go of getting him or her to hear you and lovingly disengage. That's the hard part!

Speaking Your Truth and Lovingly Disengaging

There are times when, even if you are open to learning and really want to understand the other, he or she is just intent on trying to get you to change. When this is the case, you might want to speak your truth and lovingly disengage. This looks like saying something like: "I'd love to continue talking about this when you are open to listening to me and understanding why I was late without calling," and then walking away, keeping your heart open. This means that you are not withdrawing in anger or blame. You are staying in compassion for yourself and the other person, so that if he or she opens, you have no residue of hurt, anger or blame.

Resolution occurs when both people are open to learning and listening without a controlling agenda. True listening is an act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. It is a kind and loving way to interact with someone you care about. It is a great gift.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, “The Intimate Relationship Toolbox” – the first two weeks are free!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook.
 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

3 Types Of Hugs And How They Affect You

By

There are hugs — and then there are hugs. In other words, there are genuine loving and giving hugs, and there are needy hugs and inappropriately sexual hugs. There is a world of difference between these. While I knew this as a child — as most children do — I didn't have words for the difference. I just knew that I loved hugging and being ... Read more

Do You Listen?

By

Renowned singer Alanis Morrissette, who is a big proponent of Inner Bonding and a good friend of mine, gave a keynote talk at the 'Emerging Women' conference in Boulder, Colorado in 2013. She invited me to attend and I was delighted to hear her speak. Instead of giving a monologue, she had a dialogue with Tami Simon, the CEO of Sounds True, who ... Read more

Are You Secretly Controlling?

By

Most of us have learned some controlling behaviors that are not overtly obvious. For example, Sonia asked in one of my free webinars, "How can I help a man to share his fears of commitment with me without sounding like I am pressuring him?" If I were working with Sonia, I would ask her to explore these questions: "Why do you want him to ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB