Are You Reactive in Conflict?

By Dr. Margaret Paul. Posted on Sep 15th 2012.

What is your typical way of reacting when another is being unloving, or in the face of conflict?

I need to be fully present with compassion for my own core feelings of loneliness and heartache.
I need to completely and compassionately accept my lack of control — my helplessness — over another.
I need to be in connection with my spiritual Guidance to know what is loving to me in the particular situation — to actively listen, to reach out to sooth them, to be with them and just listen, to lovingly speak my truth, and/or to lovingly disengage.
I need to be fully willing to take the loving action in my own behalf, rather than try to influence the other person in any way.

None of this is easy, and it generally takes a lot of practice to move beyond reactivity and into loving action for yourself and with others.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free!

More from YourTango: The Goals of Controlling Behavior In Relationships

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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Los Angeles, CA

Credentials: PhD

Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression

Website: http://www.innerbonding.com/

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