Are You & Your Partner Hurting Each Other?

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Are You & Your Partner Hurting Each Other?
You and your partner might be hurting each other without realizing it.
You and your partner might be hurting each other without realizing it.

The sharing of love is the most wonderful experience in life. You connect and share love when you are open hearted with your partner - kind, caring, gentle, tender, understanding, and compassionate. You connect and share love when you are open to learning - listening well and caring about your own and your partner's feelings, even if your partner is upset about how you might have hurt him or her.

As you explore this topic, conside these questions:

The sharing of love is the most wonderful experience in life. You connect and share love when you are open hearted with your partner - kind, caring, gentle, tender, understanding, and compassionate. You connect and share love when you are open to learning - listening well and caring about your own and your partner's feelings, even if your partner is upset about how you might have hurt him or her.

As you explore this topic, conside these questions:

  • Are you aware of how you may be hurting your partner?
  • Are you aware of how your partner may be hurting you?
  • Are you aware of the painful feelings of loneliness, heartache and heartbreak you likely feel when you are disconnected from your loved one and unable to share love?
  • Do you care about hurting your partner?
  • Does your partner care about hurting you?

In close relationships, we are very sensitive to each other's energy. Closed, protective, controlling energy - energy that is harsh, dismissive, defensive, resistant, shut down, judgmental, blaming, or angry creates a disconnection between partners. So does complaining and being a victim. While you might cover up the pain of the loneliness and heartache of this disconnection with your own closed, protective, controlling energy, inside you are hurting and not attending to your pain.

When you haven't learned to compassionately connect with your own painful feelings of a loved one's disconnected energy, and attend to your loneliness and heartache with deep kindness and tenderness, you will have a hard time caring about your partner's hurt. You want your partner to care about how he or she is hurting you, and your partner wants the same thing, but if neither of you are caring about yourselves, then it is likely that you are not caring about each other either. When you disconnect from yourself by closing down from feeling your loneliness and heartache, and your partner does the same, there is no way of connecting with each other. You have created a disconnected protective circle where both of you are hurting.

Healing the Disconnection

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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