As Melanie started to practice Inner Bonding, she realized that she was making others responsible for defining her goodness and worth. She realized that, while she really was a very loving and giving person, much of her giving was to get seen as a good and loving person. She saw that she would continue to be vulnerable to other's demands until she no longer needed them to define her with their approval. She realized that until she defined herself through her own higher self, and until she took loving care of herself, she would never feel that she was good enough. She discovered that feeling like a good person could never come from others — it had to come from her own loving actions toward herself. She saw that her inner child would never feel seen as a good person until Melanie treated her lovingly.
While Melanie did not stop being loving to her husband and children, she was no longer jumping to meet their every demand and trying to prove her love to them. Instead, she began to tune in to what was in her highest good in the face of their demands.
As Melanie started taking care of herself, her relationships with her family slowly changed. While her husband and children were not always happy with her, she discovered that they actually respected her more than when she was giving in to them. Their demands, anger and blaming gradually diminished since these behaviors no longer worked to control Melanie. In addition, Melanie was no longer exhausted and depleted, nor was she getting sick so often. By defining her own goodness, she no longer felt that she had to prove her love to anyone. She knew she was a loving person and she knew that she deserved to be treated with caring and respect.
To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with your partner and others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week home study eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" – the first two weeks are free! ! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.