Anxious Or Depressed? Learn Why!

By

Anxious Or Depressed? Learn Why!
Discover emotional and physical reasons for anxiety & depression that you can change right now!

I was a very anxious child. When I was five years old, my mother took me to a child psychiatrist. After we each spoke with him and we were ready to leave, he turned to me and said, "Tell your mother not to yell at you." I clearly remember thinking, "I'm only five years old and she doesn't listen to me. You tell her!" And my next thought was, "I can do a better job than you!" From that moment on I knew that I wanted to be a therapist.

I struggled with much anxiety and some deep depression for much of my life, until 28 years ago when I discovered the underlying causes and the secret to healing.

Alarming Statistics

Statistics in the U.S., with similar numbers around the globe, are alarming:

• 18.8 million American adults, or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year, have a depressive disorder

• Approximately 40 million Americans age 18 and older (18.1%) are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in any given year

11 percent of Americans take anti-depressants, an increase of nearly 400 percent over the last two decades, (http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/10/25/antidepressant-use-up-400-percent-in-us/30677.html), and an equal number are on anti-anxiety medication.

Part of the reason for this surge in numbers is that many people are being diagnosed with these disorders who were formerly undiagnosed, and many more of those who are diagnosed are being prescribed medication –- mostly due to intense advertising by the drug companies (despite the fact, which Dr. Irving Kirsch proves in his book, The Emperor's New Drugs: Exploding the Antidepressant Myth, that the drug companies largely created the myth of 'chemical imbalances' and that antidepressants work mostly as placebos). Yet the fact remains that many people around the world are anxious and depressed.

While there may be many causes of this, in the 44 years I've been counseling people, I have discovered two major causes. Both fall under the heading of self-abandonment.

Emotional Self-Abandonment

When children are physically, emotionally or sexually abused, they generally become anxious and depressed. The same is true of the way we treat ourselves, as adults, on the inner level. Imagine your feelings as being an inner child. When you emotionally abandon this child in various ways, you end up feeling anxious and/or depressed. Our feelings are our inner guidance system, letting us know when we are being loving or unloving to ourselves.

I have discovered four major ways we emotionally abandon ourselves which can lead to anxiety and depression.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

Are You Addicted To Love?

By

Have you ever felt confused about whether your feelings in a relationship were coming from a healthy place or from a wounded place? This is Mari's concern: "How would you describe the difference between obsession/addiction and devotion? When you are deeply in love and moved to be emotionally and physically intimate with someone, how can you tell ... Read more

How Do YOU Feel About That? Avoiding Projection In Relationships

By

"I think I'm an open person, but Sarah keeps telling me how closed I am. She gets furious when she wants to talk about our relationship and I don't." Matthew, in his late 20s and married to Sarah for 2 years, had consulted me due to relationship problems and was feeling a lot of confusion about their relationship system. "There ... Read more

Get Over Fights Like A Grown-Up

By

Most couples fight at times. Unless they fight unfairly—hitting below the belt and saying very hurtful things or becoming physically abusive—this is generally not a problem. Couples who engage in verbal or physical abuse need to either get help on both an individual and relationship level or leave the relationship. Ongoing verbal and physical ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB