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8 Ways To Ruin Your Kids

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5. Undermine their instincts. Remind them that they don't know what they really want or feel. After all, you don't want them to be independent thinkers. Independent thinkers are not easily controlled and you definitely want to keep control! Let them know how stupid they are for their unusual ways of thinking.

6. Use physical violence to discipline them. Hitting your children to control and discipline them lets them know that they should not expect to be respected or treated well by others. It is an excellent way to undermine their sense of self. Create confusion by letting them know you are only hurting them because you love them.

7. Frighten them with a punishing God. Make sure they never feel safe enough to think for themselves by instilling in them the fear of an angry and punishing God. Let them know God is always watching them and they will go to hell if they don't follow the rules. Then, create more confusion about love by telling them God loves them.

More from YourTango: Relationships: When to Talk, When to Act

8. Take no responsibility for yourself. Make sure you provide no role modeling of personal responsibility for your own feelings, instead being a victim and blaming others.

If you follow these eight steps, you will be doing all you can do to make sure your child will not know who he or she is and will always be dependent upon the approval of others for a sense of self. You will be doing all you can to make sure your child is addicted to food, alcohol or drugs, or to other forms of addictive behavior to take away the pain of the inner emptiness.

To deepen your ability to lovingly parent, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse and receive Free Help with various parenting issues. Work with Dr. Paul on Phone or Skype.

More from YourTango: Stop Escalating Conflict!

Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.

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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

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