A 7-Step Guide To Ruining Your Relationship

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devil heart
... because who doesn't love a little misery?

Wanna ruin your relationship? Try these seven steps:

1. Take no responsibility for your own feelings. Make sure you do not take responsibility for your own feelings and your own sense of safety and security. Make sure you ignore your feelings enough so you create an empty black hole inside that needs to be filled up by sex, things or by someone else's love or attention.

2. Find someone to do it for you. Look for someone to fill your emptiness, someone to make you feel loved, happy, safe and secure. A good way to determine if this is the right person is if he or she comes on really strong, promising you the world or at least great sex.

3. Once you find the right person, be sure to behave in one of the two following ways:

a. Completely give yourself up. Completely put yourself aside, focusing all your attention on the other person's feelings and needs. Your hope is that if you are wonderful enough and sacrifice yourself enough, the other person will give you the love you are seeking.

Be sure to completely ignore your own feelings and needs, no matter what the other person does. Be the best caretaker you can be to try to have control over getting the other person's love and approval.

b. Demand the other person live up to your expectations. Start slow, gradually building to becoming more and more demanding of the other person. If he or she doesn't meet your expectations, be sure to criticize, blame, chastise, berate, threaten, ignore, yell at, belittle, lecture, debate and argue with your partner. Keep reading ...

More relationship advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at Inner Bonding . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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