Durex 21 Days

11 Wacky Signs Your Sex Life Is Totally Normal

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Signs your sex life is normal
Do raunchy fantasies turn you on? It's totally normal!
Challenge #1: Find out what the heck 'normal' is anyway.

7. You like kinky sex.
One of my clients, a young and powerful young woman, was questioning herself because she liked it when her boyfriend was controlling in bed — in charge and spanking her. She thought there was something wrong with her for liking this. She didn't like being hurt and he wouldn't actually hurt her, but she did like the vulnerability of being controlled. I assured her that there was nothing at all wrong with this as long as they both enjoyed it. There is a reason why Fifty Shades of Grey was such a bestseller!

8. Dirty talk is necessary to get the fires stoked.
If one person wants more emotional connection or more romance, then it can become a problem, but a little naughty whispering isn't an issue as long as you both enjoy it!

More from YourTango: Relationships: When to Talk, When to Act

9. You like to have covert sex somewhere in public.
Naughty sex can be fun! Play under the table in a restaurant — finding a way to play with each other while looking like nothing is happening can be fun and exciting!

10. You use sex toys.
Sex toys can add great pleasure to your sex life. If the only way you have an orgasm is with a vibrator, go for it! If you are curious about the various sex toys, take an excursion to your local sex store or go on line to learn what is available — and what would be fun for you.

11. You like to have a drink or two before making love.
If booze loosens you up and allows you to have more fun with each other, then no problem. Sometimes booze can effect performance and may become a problem or it leads to emotional disconnection, but as long as it is working for both of you, then have fun!

I hope you can see that anything both of you enjoy and isn't causing you or anyone else harm is part of a normal sex life. Problems come into your sex life when you give yourself up and go along with something you don't want. This is what is not healthy. As long as you both want it and it isn't harming anyone, then enjoy it!

More from YourTango: Stop Escalating Conflict!

Check back every day at 21 Days To A Better Sex Life — and tell us, what's your secret to a smokin' hot sex life?

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

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