50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

3 Ways For Cynics To Embrace Valentines Day


valentines day
Ugh ... is it V-Day again?
Turn your dread into delight.

Are you dreading Valentines Day because the dream of romance never quite pans out? Rather than a reminder of romance-gone-bad or a partner missing in action, make this Valentines Day a true celebration of your love — whether you have a partner or not.

Here are three ways to conquer your Valentines Day cynicism.

More from YourTango: Leave Orgasm Despair Behind

1. Don't ignore Valentines Day! Unless you have taken vows as a monk or nun or your house is on fire it's important to recognize this day. Most of us want to be with a loving partner either right this minute or in the future. Whether that is a reality for you now or not, it can be energizing to focus on your dreams and the steps you can take to make them a reality. Even if you're depressed about your dating situation or the state of your marriage, focus on your hopes for your future and your recommitment to being the happiest you. 

Here's how: If you're single, keep the dream alive by taking a quiet moment to contemplate or journal what a partnered future would look like for you. If you are married or partnered but feel alone in your relationship right now, do the same. If you and your partner are so distressed that you don't plan to celebrate together, use the evening to have a long talk, negotiate going to couple's counseling or spend some dedicated alone time to focus on what you want. Valentines Day can be a built-in reminder to give yourself an inspiring "state of my life" address.

2. Color outside the lines of tradition. Romance is built on a sense that you and your partner like each other, that you mutually want to be together and most importantly that you've been paying attention you really know and understand your partner. Rather than adhering to the traditional symbols of romance, offer something that represents your deep recognition of your partner. A mother with young children might feel the romance and attention from her partner with a hassle-free bath with some candles, because 30 minutes of uninterrupted "me" time far outshines the dinner date that she would need to find a sitter for.

Rather than the splash of red roses, maybe an orchid tells your partner that you have been paying attention to her interests. Proactively expressing desires for how you want to spend the day would take the pressure off your man to ignite romance, and set the stage for a truly enjoyable celebration. Instead of cards or chocolates, express a simple sentiment out loud such as, "I'm so happy and grateful for our life together!". This can make Valentines Day rise above all others that came before.

If you're single, go against the tradition of saying, "I don't have a Valentine, and I don't have anything to do that night." Instead, be your own Valentine! What would make the day meaningful and enjoyable for you? Celebrate the day of love by showing love to you.

More from YourTango: Why Normal Could Ruin Your Sex Life

3. Rearrange your expectations. It's easy to succumb to the usual picture of romantic love magically appearing like a gallant knight on a white horse at your front door to declare his love and eternal fidelity. But it doesn't work that way. And when did Valentines Day become a day for men to prove themselves anyway? Let go of the burdensome expectation that it is the man that is responsible for saddling up his white horse and demonstrating his love in order to create the romance. Keep reading ...

More Valentines Day advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Make A Move

Forgiveness : The Most Important "F-Word".

Forgive so that the past no longer holds you back. It is time to move forward.

Trouble In Paradise

5 Signs Your Marriage is At Risk

Learn the warning signs for divorce so you can avoid a crisis and find ways to turn things around.

woman sending naked pic

Before You Hit Send: The Cold, Hard Truth About Sending Nude Pics

Ever thought about sharing nude photos or sexting with a new guy? Read on to know what to watch for.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>