How To Quickly And Easily Overcome Your Fears

By

How To Quickly And Easily Overcome Your Fears
Is fear keeping you from living your dreams? Try these tips to overcome fear today.

In my work as well as in my personal life I frequently see and understand what a profound role fear plays in all of our lives.  Some might not recognize or call some of their behaviors fearful yet if we dig deep enough that’s almost always what holds us back.  It’s rarely the life threatening fear that gets in our way but rather the seemingly small stuff that holds us hostage from the greatness that we so often desire.  Here are some simple and time-tested ways to overcome your fears, and take your life in a new direction.

Try the “so what” technique to address what really concerns you.  Let’s say you can’t get promoted at work until you become a proficient public speaker yet the thought of speaking in front of others sends you into a panicked frenzy.   Most likely public speaking scares you because you don’t want to make a fool out of yourself in front of others.  And to that I say, “So what if you make a fool out of yourself?”  What really do you have to lose?  Your co-workers may say, “Well that was awkward” but really what else is likely to happen?  If you don’t learn to speak publicly you are stuck right where you are but if you get comfortable with being a poor public speaker than it’s only a matter of time until you improve. 

The brilliant author of The Harry Potter book series, J.K. Rowling recently released a novel directed at adults.  The hype around the book was huge and Rowling was continually asked if she was worried that the book wouldn’t be as popular as the Harry Potter series.  Her response was enlightened in that she would frequently say, “So what if it isn’t.  I’ve faced worse things in my life.”  Isn’t that exactly it for all of us?  What’s the worse that can happen if you try something new?  You fail?  So what?  Is it worse to fail than to never have tried at all?  And doesn’t failing eventually teach you something that will help you succeed in the future? 

Another great way to overcome your fears is to address the silly storyteller in your brain.  It’s that storyteller that says, “You can’t do this, give it up.” Isn’t it time to give the storyteller a new story one that has a happier ending for you?  Often the storyteller tells us to not try new things because we might get hurt or hurt others.  “Don’t date that fabulous guy, he’s destined to break your heart.”  Or “Only selfish, bad moms pursue the career of their dreams!  You should focus every second on your children!”  Here’s the deal with these stories, they are just that, stories.  They are rarely based in any reality or backed up by evidence.  The stories are simply something that you’ve gotten in the habit of accepting. 

Article contributed by

Dr. Lisa Kaplin

YourTango Expert Partner

Dr. Lisa J. Kaplin is a life coach and psychologist you can reach her at:

www.smartwomeninspiredlives.com

 

Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC, ELI-MP, MS, PsyD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Lisa Kaplin:

Hey, It's Ok For ALL Of Us To Talk About Racism

By

Have you ever wanted to ask someone from a different race about what life is like for them but didn't because you were afraid you might offend them or they might consider you to be bigoted or racist? Did you pick up mindsets from your family that you realize now many people consider racist but you find yourself believing those ideas anyway? Do you ever find ... Read more

How A Deadly Disease Took The Life Of Robin Williams

By

Yesterday the world received tragic news that comedian and actor, Robin Williams, lost his battle with depression. How could such a truly talented, funny, and seemingly kind person with access to every form of medical care lose this battle? Apparently, Williams had suffered much of his adult life from depression and yesterday it ended his life. Many will say ... Read more

Is Hillary Clinton Our Country's Next Relationship Sage?

By

Last week Hillary Clinton made a brief but profound statement about forgiving her husband after his affair in the White House. Clinton said, "Forgiveness is a choice." Clinton never mentions anything about her husband asking for forgiveness or even actually forgiving his actions. Instead, she discusses forgiveness as a gift to herself. She says, ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.