5 Tips For A Drama-Free Divorce

By

sad woman
Why not make your divorce as pain-free as possible?

Divorces always seem to come in one of two packages: slightly amicable or miserably dramatic. Most people prefer the latter, yet are unsure of exactly how to achieve it. With that in mind, here are a few, useful tips to make your divorce far more pleasant than you originally expected:

1. Leave defensiveness at the door. Defensive behavior will not only lead you to feeling rotten but will only add to increased tension between you and your soon to be ex. How can you tell if you've hit the defensive door? Watch for words like, "no I didn't" or "you started it" or "that's not true." When you find yourself being defensive ask for a time out to get yourself together. Even if your ex is finger pointing, yelling, blaming, etc., don't do it. Take the high road. You will never regret calming yourself down but you will regret trying to change his opinion with defensiveness. It's not going to happen so let it go.

 

2. Neither accept nor deny all of the blame for your divorce. It took two of you to get to this place and it's extremely important for you to dig deep and own your role in it. On the other hand, don't be a martyr. You alone did not end your marriage and you both would do best by acknowledging that. Since you have no control over his thoughts or behaviors, take care of your own and take care of yourself.

3. Don't "dis" your ex to everyone you meet. First off, it's rather bad behavior to kiss and tell but more importantly, it means you are hanging on to some really nasty energy that will inevitably only hurt you. Share your thoughts and feelings with either a professional and/or one or two close confidants but not with every person you come across.  If the only thing you can think about your ex is highly negative, try not to think about him. Seriously! Stop that nasty repetitive thought, let it slide out of your head and add some positive, happier thoughts about anything but your ex. Keep reading ...

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Dr. Lisa Kaplin

YourTango Expert Partner

Dr. Lisa J. Kaplin is a life coach and psychologist you can reach her at:

www.smartwomeninspiredlives.com

 

Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC, ELI-MP, MS, PsyD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Lisa Kaplin:

Tired Of Not Getting What You Want? 4 Ways To Start Speaking Up

By

Okay, it's time to quit feeling sorry for ourselves, for not getting our needs met, for not being heard, and for not going to our favorite restaurant. This is the year we ask for what we want—clearly, concisely, kindly, yet unapologetically.   You know how damaging it is to your psyche, your confidence, and your relationships to not ... Read more

Confidence Is The New Sexy So STOP Doubting Yourself! [VIDEO]

By

We're pretty sure that we've all had those days where we feel so anxious over trying to make a decision that we end up driving ourselves crazy. But what we don't realize is that having to constantly second-guess ourselves over everything we do can really hurt our self-esteem. Instead of trusting ourselves, we spend so much time worrying about if we ... Read more

FINALLY! The Secret To Living A Happy & Stress Free Life! [VIDEO]

By

Sometimes, when you're not looking, life can come at you pretty fast. We've all had that moment where we felt so overwhelmed with everything going on that it was hard to take just one minute to breathe. But what we seem to forget is that the only way that we can be stressed about something is if we let it stress us out. Even though finding out how to be ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular