9 Healthy Habits We Can Learn From Open Relationships

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red open sign
The difference between infidelity and polyamory boils down to one very fundamental virtue.

3. Keep being the individual you were before you got in the relationship. When you give up aspects of yourself, you stop being the person your partner fell in love with. When you mold yourself to suit your partner, whether he or she asks for it or not, you lose your vitality and your relationship suffers.

4. Allow your partner to keep his/her friends (regardless of gender). When you restrict your partner's movement, he/she will start to resent you and may become less straightforward to avoid dealing with your reaction. Your partner needs to keep his/her friends for all the same reasons you need to keep yours. By letting your partner be free, you ensure that you're his/ her "real" choice. You don't want someone to be with you out of obligation, guilt or fear. You want it to be because they love you (and trust you) for who you are and because you love them for exactly the same reason.

5. Don't lie to your relationship partner, even by omission. This means not engaging in activities with other men or women you are not willing to disclose to your partner. Deceptions may seem self-preserving in the moment but they will only drive you apart in the long run. When people find out they've been deceived by a loved one, they will often lose any trust in that person, which then leads to either heightened jealousy, attempts to control or rejection.

6. Don't talk about relationship problems with other potential love interests. Using someone who is not unbiased as a confidante is unwise and may drive you and your partner apart.

7. Don't use contact with other people to make your partner jealous. This is a form of manipulation. Even if gets your partner's attention, he/she will resent you for it and think less of you in the long run.

8. Don't create false expectations ... in other people who may be interested in you romantically. Be clear about your boundaries. If you aren't, your "friend's" expectations can lead your partner to feel unnecessarily threatened. Keep reading ... 

This article was originally published at PsychAlive . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Lisa Firestone

Author

Dr. Lisa Firestone PhD

Director of Research and Education

The Glendon Association

www.glendon.org

www.psychalive.org

(805) 681-0415 x216

Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression, Family Support, Parenting, Stress Management
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