There is a lot to be learned from what NOT to do in love.
While a lot of articles on finding love focus on what to do, there is a lot to be learned from what NOT to do. After 7 years of working with women to attract their soulmate, here are our insights on how spiritual, single, successful women undermine themselves and jeopardize their love life.
1. Not taking it seriously
Anything you value, you give time, energy, focus and money to. When you wanted to graduate from college, you invested time, energy and money in that process. You kept going even when you were discouraged, and when you were not doing well at a class, you sought more help in the form of a tutor, a study group, a mentor and probably all of the above.
Most people seem to know that if they need help in an area, like for instance, building a business, so they hire a business coach. Or if they need help getting clear on their purpose in life, they hire a life coach. Many people don’t know that they can hire a Love Coach and thereby accelerate their journey to finding the love of their life and then keeping him.
Remember, your business or career won’t keep you warm at night, and won’t take care of you when you get sick. Raise soulmate love up in your priority levels. Take it seriously. Get some expert support from someone who has done it.
2. Not having a plan
Just like building a business, you need to have a plan. Ask yourself: “Who do I have to BE in order to attract the love of my life?”
Not sure what I’m talking about? You need a plan. That’s where you could use support from someone who has consciously and intentionally attracted soulmate love to them… someone who didn’t rely on luck or chance.
3. Acting the fool on FB or Twitter
I’m all for authenticity and honesty, but if you’re having a bad day, please don’t use your FB or Twitter community as your personal therapist. Whining and complaining all of the time not only reflects badly on you, but robs you of your power. Your words matter. Watch what you put out there, you will surely get it back.
And if you have pictures of yourself in skimpy clothing with lots of cleavage showing, don’t get all bent out of shape if you get unwanted attention from creepy men. I know, this is a free country. Yes, you can wear whatever you want. But if you are dressing like this and don’t like the caliber of men you’re attracting, there may be a connection. In fact, I’m sure there is a connection.
4. Not respecting your boundaries (or even defining them in first place)
Boundaries are good. They let everyone know where they stand and are important to clarify for yourself BEFORE you go out on a date. Know your boundaries ahead of time. For example, if you have a personal history of sleeping with men too soon, one of your self-defined boundaries would be to wait at least ________(6 dates, or 3 weeks, or until commitment– you fill in what’s right for you).
Take 20 minutes and write out your personal boundaries that are important to you. This is not a list to share with anyone, this is for your eyes only. And then keep to them. The right man will respect you for them and honor them.
5. Gossiping or being negative
As the saying goes, if you can’t say anything kind, don’t say anything at all. It only reflects badly on you. Kindness rocks. ‘Nuff said.
So that’s the first five of what NOT to do. And join me next week as I reveal what else NOT to do….questions, comments? Feel free to post them below!
“The words you speak become the house you live in.”
To learn more about finding fun in your soulmate journey, join Dr. Lara and Johnny this Thurs, 3/29, for a free love training call: Never Settle Again in Love
Dr. Lara Fernandez and Johnny Fernandez, J.D. are soulmates on a mission. Their popular, fun, and effective LoveLaunch courses and programs help single, successful, spiritual women live the life of their dreams with their soulmate by their side."