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I remember my single days and struggling with how LONG it was taking to find my One. I was doing everything I had been told to do by the soulmate books I was reading: I had a long “soulmate list” that was very clear of who my soulmate was, I had a soulmate “vision binder” (I had put pictures of happy couples, etc in a binder, like a vision board), I was getting out there, going on blind dates, you name it, I was doing it.
But nothing was happening.
Then one day, my Love Coach gave me some advice that changed everything. She told me that until I could FEEL what it would FEEL like to be with him, I’d be spinning my wheels in my quest. Naturally, my inner skeptic voice kicked in immediately (you know the one, some people call it their logical mind…others call it the voice of reason, I call it “the old b**ch upstairs”).
That inner voice told me “this advice is just another piece of New Age mumbo jumbo that would be MORE waste of my time and what am I thinking anyway? There’s no such thing as soulmates anyway and you’re too picky and…” blah, blah, blah.
But there was another part of me that decided “what the heck, nothing else was really working, might as well try it along with all the other crazy stuff I was doing.”
So I started to meditate on FEELING IT. Nothing happened. I couldn’t find a space within me that would allow those feelings to come forth. With some support from my Love Coach and from several love experts I developed some ways that worked for me to finally bring forth those feelings that were soooooo necessary for me to feel in order to magnetize Johnny.
While I loved doing it by myself, it wasn’t until I got help from someone outside of my own head that I really FELT it, and was able to recreate it on my own somewhat. Then I kept getting support because that helped me from going back into old patterns and ways of feeling.
FEELING it and READING about it are hugely different.
Here’s what’s so interesting: when Johnny showed up and we fell in love, those feelings of love and intimacy and warmth and JOY were SO FAMILIAR…. ’cause I’d already FELT them- over and over again in my mind and in my soul- BEFORE he came into my life!
And here’s what I did: (or rather, here’s a few things I did- I’d need to write a long book to explain everything)…
1. I wrote letters to my soulmate. Once or twice a week, I’d write a letter to him, starting with ‘Dear Soulmate’ and then telling him what was going on for me in my life- all the pain of being lonely, how I couldn’t wait to be held by him, even concerns and worries I was having about what my life would be like once we were together. I poured my heart out, raw and real and very, very vulnerable. It helped me process my feelings and helped me to get to a place of peace each time I wrote another soulmate letter.
2. Several times a week, I’d create a ritual around my bedtime. I would light a pink rose scented candle, dim the lights in my bedroom, say a little prayer and then get my journal out and write out an ideal day in the life of living with my soulmate. Ooooh, I LOVED this! What a fun and playful and yet, VERY POWERFUL way to get into that feeling space of BEING with him. Sometimes, just to change it up and use a different part of my brain, I’d draw a day in the life of me and my soulmate, enjoying life together.
To this day, I do this to create what I want in my life and it’s so simple, it’s easy to think that it couldn’t work- but it does!
3. I met with and talked about soulmate love with my single friends who were on the same path as I was. We’d describe to each other in detail what our lives would be like with our soulmates. This exercise was especially fun accompanied by a delicious dinner and a little wine to get the imagination flowing. There were times I remember getting so excited about our “vision parties”… I’d FEEL my beloved near me! That’s a little woo-woo, I know, but it’s the truth.
So there you go. Discipline yourself to get into the feeling space every day if possible and you will be pleasantly surprised at how familiar those feelings are when he (or she) actually shows up!
Now the change you have been looking for can begin now, all you have to do is say YES to yourself!
“It’s discipline, not desire, that determines your destiny”
- Coach Dru Joyce