When I was a young girl, I played with Barbie dolls. I had a whole collection of them; about 20 or so of all of these different forms of beautiful, blonde and skinny-curvy Barbies. I read the fairy tales of beautiful princesses being rescued by handsome wealthy powerful princes and was essentially brainwashed into believing that somehow my body, my hair and my eyes weren't good enough. I grew up believing that I needed to be taller, I needed to be skinny...and that somehow God didn't know that I was supposed to have straight hair!
Well, this conditioning, this brainwashing over the years had its effect in my beliefs about me and my body. I had the belief that my body wasn’t lovable the way it was made. And as with all beliefs, that belief was reflected in the circumstances of my life and especially in the men I was attracting. I tended to attract men that tolerated my curvy and petite body and didn't appreciate it fully. I would date men who would check out other women while they were with me. Ick! And the women they tended to swerve their heads for were tall, skinny blondes...something I could never be. Help! I'm Obsessed With My Weight
As I worked with my love coach and my spiritual and personal development, an awakening occurred. I became awake to the real truth that I am lovingly made by a benevolent Higher Power and that my body—with its ups and downs in weight and with all of its curves—is simply a beautiful expression and creation of God. And who am I to argue with God?! What Do Whitney Houston & Self Love Have In Common?
This was a process, however. I had my confident days and my not so confident days. I remember going on a 2 week trip to Oaxaca, Mexico for their Day of the Dead celebrations. I went with a girlfriend and we had what was to become a life changing trip. This was about 6 months before I met Johnny. On the second day we were in Oaxaca, I met a Mexican man named David. We really connected and he was what I'd call a preparatory relationship even though it was a totally platonic relationship.
When I met him, I felt my heart start to soften. I felt like my heart had been a hard, grey stone...and as I got to connect with him, I literally felt my chest soften and open. I'll never forget going out to dinner with him. When it was time for dessert, he asked what did I want to have. I said, "Oh I don't want any dessert. I've got to watch my figure." He looked at me astonished and said, "What?? You are gorgeous! You have a beautiful, perfect figure!" 3 Ways To Attract Men If You Don’t Look Like A Model
What an eye opener! You mean, I am perfect and beautiful exactly the way I am?! Wow! And though I knew that David was not my soulmate, I realized that if one man can find me beautiful and perfect in my body as I am, there had to be at least one more on the planet! It opened me up to realizing without a doubt what it would feel like to be adored exactly as I am. It didn't mean I didn't work out, eat right and drink my water...it just meant that I did those actions just to simply take good care of myself and show myself the love that I wanted to receive.