Sometimes you just want to watch a funny movie with a girlfriend and just laugh and laugh and NOT critique the darn thing, y’know? I went to see Bridesmaids with a longtime girlfriend of mine the other day, anticipating some comic relief and pure enjoyment.
I got it.
To a degree, anyway.
It WAS hilarious. One funny and/or ridiculous scene after the other, laugh out loud funny.
But here’s the deal: I am in the relationship “business”. I help single, spiritual women to step into their power and BE the “One” to live the life of their dreams. I didn’t want to do it, but I critiqued the movie… because the message from Bridesmaids was so painfully loud and clear:
You can be a total pathetic mess, out of integrity, feel like crap about yourself and your entire life… and as long as you’re pretty- you can still attract a wonderful, in-integrity man who is solid, likes himself and his life. You don’t need to grow yourself- do any inner work or introspection, remove your crappy beliefs about yourself or life or men. Just keep doing stupid, mean things to yourself and your best friend (!)…and magically, in the end, you will get your wonderful man.
I really do NOT get what that great guy (the highway patrol officer) saw in Annie (the main character). Yeah, she was pretty. But she was negative, down on herself and her life and everyone else. If I was single and met a man like that… I’d stay far away. No thanks!
Now you may think I’m taking this too seriously. It’s just a movie after all. That’s fine. I respect your right to think what you think. But here’s the deal: it’s been proven over and over in research that the messages in movies/TV shows/books/media affect our thinking and our behavior. So I believe this is important to shine a spotlight on this. It doesn’t mean don’t go see the movie. I say, go if you haven’t seen it, get your belly laughs… and be aware of the message that is being expressed.
It’s not like this is a stand-alone movie with this type of negative programming of women and girls. If it was, there’d be no reason for me to even write an article about it. But time and time again, the messages in popular movies show women who are not in their power and who don’t do ANYTHING to strengthen themselves, remove unconscious blocks and beliefs to love, and open their hearts to become strong powerful attractors to the love and the life of their dreams.
There is one scene where one of the bridesmaids says to Annie, “I don’t associate with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.” This was a great line and gave the movie the biggest dose of reality I had seen so far.
So to bring my message today back to YOU: in your relationship to life and love and men, WHO are you being? Are you feeling powerful, strong, open and truly loving? Or perfectionistic, judgmental or blaming?
What kind of person would you get to BE to attract the man and the life of your dreams?
Am I being this way NOW? (however imperfectly?)
Love and light,