All the good men are NOT taken! I can prove it.

When I was single, I remember those days of wondering when the heck was I gonna find my man? I was so SICK and TIRED of being alone. I hated the feeling of those lonely Saturday nights by myself (and Friday nights, and Sunday nights… and…) I had so many doubts that I’d ever even find a good man at all and fears of being alone forever. That maybe, by some weird freak of nature,  I was “meant” to be alone. Can you relate?

One night, after a particularly painful breakup, I took stock of my life and how it was going and I made a decision. I made the decision that I needed help around relationships, because I certainly wasn’t doing so well at it on my own! I committed to doing whatever it took to find the right man for me. And from that decision, that deep level of introspection that came from taking stock of my life, I attracted new information, and most importantly a love mentor – love coach.

More from YourTango: The First 5 minutes…and beyond.

With her help, I started to lead what Socrates called, “the examined life”. I started to learn more about myself and what makes me tick, and how I create the circumstances in my life. With her help, I started to learn that the way I was looking at the world (and men) was creating the circumstances of my love life. I took workshops and courses, read books and became a student of love and relationships.

It wasn’t some magic fairy dust that my love coach sprinkled on me. I was sooooooo COMMITTED to changing my life, I didn’t fight her. I didn’t argue for my limitations with her (well, maybe I did… but not that much). I simply DID WHAT SHE SAID TO DO. Because I wanted the result so badly. And you know what? It frickin’ worked. In just two short years, I had met Johnny and we fell in love and yes, the rest is beautiful history.

More from YourTango: You’re Really NOT Alone

One of the key learnings I got in this investment of myself was:
THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOOD MEN OUT THERE. But that I needn’t worry about where are ALL of those good men… but focus instead on BEING a woman who could attract ONE of those good men. The truth is, there’s an ABUNDANCE of good men! But you’re not looking for LOTS AND LOTS of them! You’re only looking for ONE. This is a very important distinction to make in your mind.

You see, it gets overwhelming when you worry about “where are all the good men gathered?” That’s too much pressure to put on yourself. You only want to find ONE who’s a match for you! And I promise you, there’s at least one… probably more than one. But your job is simply to find one of ‘em.