I shared with you the first 5 ways to slow down your path to love. I received so much amazing feedback and shares about your aha’s, so I’m super excited to share the last four “NOT-to-do’s”.
6. Leaky Energy (aka Friends With Benefits)
Are you one of those people that pride themselves on the fact that they have such great relationships with their ex’s? Are you friends with one or more people that you have had intimate relationships in the past? Do you still have people in your life that are “friends with benefits”?
If you have answered “yes” to any of the three questions above and you haven’t found your soul mate, you are suffering from “leaky energy”.
Leaky energy is where you have a life that is filled with ex’s and they drain your energy; worse still, they keep your soul mate away. When we maintain relationships with people who we have considered our partners it is impossible not to invest some degree of energy in these people. Yet these are the same people that for some reason or another, were not your soul mate when you were in a relationship and that you don’t have any intention in having another long-term relationship with.
Now I don’t care what you tell yourself and what you tell your friends; or what you tell potential partners. If you keep your ex’s around for any reason apart from legal ones (in the cases of shared custody for example) there is not a normal healthy man around who is going to accept your “friendship” with an ex.
Move on, allow yourself to feel what it feels like to be alone for awhile. It’s important to create that “vacuum” in your life, and allow a space for your sweetie to fill. Remember, the Universe abhors a vacuum.
7. Saying yes to a date just so you have a date
Just because a man asks you out does NOT mean you have to go out with him. Spend some time with yourself, do personal development and spiritual growth work to expand your vision about what’s possible for you in your life.
8. Trying to do it all on your own
Have you been trying to find your soulmate on your own for years now and it hasn’t happened yet? There’s more for you to learn- about yourself, about men, about life. Even if you’ve read all the books about how to find a man, there’s still more learning to do. This process is not a quick fix, magic pill type of thing.
We women learn more and go farther in community, with collaboration and cooperation. Isolation lowers your oxytocin, lowers your serotonin, (the “feel good” hormones in your brain) and ends up having women feeling bad about not being able to “do it all alone” as if there are extra points for suffering and doing it the long, hard way - or just NEVER meeting your soulmate because you didn’t get support.
In the 2 years before I met Johnny, I invested more time, energy and money in MYSELF. MY personal growth, MY spiritual development, MY personal power, and MY attraction to my soulmate - and I did a lot of it with other women. It was that kind of attention that allowed me step up in EVERY area of my life, and become the woman that could attract an amazing, loving, committed and wonderful man like Johnny- and then keep him.
Every successful LoveLaunch client that we’ve worked with did the same thing. There’s a pattern here. :-)
9. Ignoring and not cultivating your personal power
If you are blaming the men you’ve dated for cheating on you, or if you keep saying that finding love is all just about luck, then you are constantly affirming your powerless-ness to the Universe and the Universe will respond in kind.
You may think you are “just stating facts” but as a spiritual teacher once told me “there are facts and there is the Truth”. The Truth is that you are a powerful woman who can create and attract the love of your life and the life of your dreams. (how, exactly? start by reviewing #s 1-8 of this list)
Here’s the solution: rise out of “victim consciousness” and start taking 100% responsibility for your life and your circumstances. Yep, YOU are responsible for your life. If you blame others or fate or God or the devil for your life, then you are giving your power away. A person who takes on a victim mindset does not live a wonderful life, full of joy and fulfillment. A victim invites drama after drama after drama into her life.
Write this out in your journal and say it aloud: “I, _____ (fill in your name), take 100% responsibility for my life and my circumstances. This means I now have the power to change my life and my circumstances for the better. I am grateful.”
You may not believe it yet, but that’s okay. Just make it your new mantra. Watch your life change. Rinse and repeat.
So now you know what NOT to do. Curious about the next step...what TO do? Begin by joining us for a free Love Training so you can learn how to Never Settle Again in Love.