“Myths and superstitions have power over us only to the extent that we believe them, but when we believe, we live completely under their spell and in that fiction. Scarcity is a lie, but it has been passed down as truth and with a powerful mythology that insists on itself, demands compliance, and discourages doubt or questioning.”- Lynne Twist, in her bestselling book, The Soul of Money.
Over the next 3 weeks, I’m going to share with you the 3 Scarcity Myths of Love. These myths are based upon the toxic myths of scarcity that Lynne Twist defined in her book, The Soul of Money (FANTASTIC book, by the way). Now, Lynne is talking about these myths as they apply to money, but they apply to love and relationships too.
Toxic Myth #1: There’s Not Enough
The first most common myth around love and relationships and men in general is that there’s not enough. There’s not enough good men to go around. There’s not enough good men in my town. Not everybody is destined to find soulmate love. Somebody’s going to be left out. There are way too many women that I’m competing against. I’m not enough exactly as I am right now.
There’s not enough becomes the reason that we settle for men who bring us down or the reason we do things to each other that we regret later. There’s not enough creates an anxiety that drives us to feel competitive with other women for men’s attention, or to compromise our boundaries in relationship to “keep the man”. The real danger is in falling for the idea that it’s all about HIM, when really it’s all about YOU.
You see, once you’ve defined yourself and your life as deficient, everything you think, say and do, especially in your relationships, becomes an “expression of an effort to overcome this sense of lack and the fear of losing to others or being left out.” (quote from The Soul of Money) There’s a vibration that you put out into the world that comes back to you as your circumstances of your life. If you are in agreement with this myth, you may be experiencing “not enough” in not only your love life, but your finances, your health, your career, and friendships. This mindset infects all areas of life.
What’s the Truth here?
Just because the majority of human population has subscribed to the idea of lack and scarcity does not make it the truth of life. It’s your belief in lack that causes reality to reflect “lack” back at you, in other words you are attracting not-enoughness by your scarcity-based thoughts.
The Universe, God, the Infinite Intelligence that runs this joint, has made enough for all who desire more. You have been given soulmate love as your birthright. AND, you have been given free will, a choice, to make it your destiny... or not. Your consistent actions of self love, of investing time, energy, and money in growing your self awareness, will make it your destiny.
Start thinking “Enough Thinking”. But to start to truly access that experience of enough, you have to be willing to let go of a lifetime of scarcity thinking. I know, this can be easier said than done. Here’s some ideas to get you started:
1. Start a gratitude journal. And keep it by on your bedside table and write in it every night before you go to bed or
when you wake up in the morning first thing. Write at least 5 things you are thankful for that day. You only need 5 minutes. C’mon, if you don’t have 5 minutes, you need to change something in your life!
Some days, you may just be thankful for the roof over your head, or the food on your table-- that’s okay. Just stay focused on what you’re thankful about, and start looking for “enough” in your life everyday. Did you have enough food to eat? Did your child have enough clothes to wear today? Did you enjoy that beautiful yard of autumn leaves on the ground? Where is there enough in your life right now? What you focus on, expands. What you don’t focus on, shrinks.
2. Start catching yourself if you hear a scarcity thought inside your head. And create an affirmation to course-correct when your mind starts to spiral into negativity of any kind. For instance, if you catch yourself being jealous of another woman because she has a husband or partner, here’s what to do:
a. Notice the thoughts.
b. Be kind to yourself (this is crucial- don’t be mean to yourself) and change up your thoughts with an affirmation like this:
“I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now, and I deserve love.”
“There are plenty of good men on the planet (or in my area, or in my town), and all I have to do is find ONE of them. There’s plenty to go around!”
All right, girlfriend. Join me next week as I share the second myth of scarcity around love and relationships... and if you liked this article today, please press the LIKE button, and the SHARE button and pass it along to someone you care about.
Also, if you’d like to comment, or have a question, please know that you are welcome to below in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you. Thank you and have a fantastic week.
“When you think about attracting a soulmate type of relationship, start thinking about being and having enough in your life RIGHT NOW, as it is. If you are in a scarcity mindset about you and your offering and your value in the world, that makes it very challenging, if not impossible, to attract the love you truly desire. Start thinking “Enough-thinking” right now.”
- Dr. Lara Fernandez
P.S. Wow! Last night's Never Settle Again in Love call you asked so many great questions there just wasn't enough time to answer them! This Thursday, Nov 1st, at 6:00pm PDT we will be live for a full hour of Q + A for you! Questions about the Heartbreak to Heart Open Telecourse, The Magic of Heartbreak, and Never Settle Again - bring 'em on, and we'll be there! Click Here for Details.