2. Work on having a separate identity. If you have an overly close relationship with your mother, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship with her at this time. Now, no one is suggesting that you become distant with your mother. After all it's clear that you've worked hard to have a close relationship with her. However, now is the time to separate yourself from her enough so that you can have enough confidence to appropriately assert yourself with her so that you can be the one making the decisions that are important to you. Engaged? 5 Rules For Keeping Your Friendships Intact
3. Pay for the wedding yourself, or suck it up. If your mother is overly involved and/or controlling because she is paying for the wedding, then you have two choices: suck it up because you need the money (try asserting yourself as well) or forego the funding so that you can have more control.
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If you choose to keep the money, you can engage in some self-talk surrounding keeping the wedding in perspective. If you choose to give up the strings-attached money so that you can have more control, know that this will likely upset your mother greatly, but it is a perfect opportunity to develop a more authentic relationship with her and demonstrate that you are a competent adult if you manage this conflict appropriately.
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Your wedding can truly be an emotional minefield! But it is also a perfect opportunity for you to build a more authentic and mature relationship with your mother. 50 Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship