A holistic view on happiness.
By Kate Siner — Written on Mar 30, 2015
We hear the words "feel good" all the time. We even say them to ourselves, for example, "I just want to feel good" or "I just want to feel better." Or, maybe we say, "I just want to be happy." One way or another we are saying the same thing. But, what is this "better" that we are reaching for?
Overtime, I have come to realize that self-love is the key to "feeling good." Self-love is based in self-acceptance and results in self-care. If you want to feel good, you must first be willing to accept every part of yourself, then love yourself including the parts that you do not like so much. As a result you learn to care deeply for yourself on every level.
- Self-Acceptance: Self-acceptance means being able to be on your own side regardless of where you find yourself emotionally, mentally, or even physically. For example, if you find yourself criticizing yourself, being negative about your progress, or saying the way that you are doing things is wrong, you are not on your own side.
- Self-Love: Self-love means that you are willing to maintain a loving state of being towards yourself at all times. For example, even if you do not like the way that you are acting or you did not get the results that you want you still know that you have value and are worthy of deep unconditional love.
- Self-Care: Self-care is your ability to put self-love and self-acceptance into practice. Self-care is any and every act that affirms and honors the completeness of who you are. It is not about doing something that is supposed to be healthy as much as it is caring for yourself in the most basic and intrinsic ways.
These three key ingredients create a level of health, fulfillment and ultimately success that is exceptional. They are dependent on each other and moving forward in one area propels you forward in another.
Here are some steps you can take to create more of these primary components of fulfillment in your life.
- Find The Benefits In Every Problem: Every part of us has a purpose and value. Sometimes, we might wish that we did not get angry or feel hurt in a certain situation but if we learn to listen to why we are upset or acting the way that we are, we can start to see how that part has been beneficial even if we are ready to let it go moving forward.
- Practice Loving Others, Regardless Of Their Beliefs: Loving someone does not mean tolerating bad behavior or having no boundaries. Loving someone includes boundaries and even getting upset when someone has wronged you. You do not need to let go of love if someone's behavior conflicts with your beliefs about what is right and what is wrong.
- Love Yourself Like You Love Others: There are some people like your children or your partner that you love despite their flaws. Pay attention to how and why you are able to do that and then apply those principles to yourself.
- Do What Feels Really Good: You might say, "If I always did what felt good, I would be fat, get nothing done, etc." and list other associations with indulgence. However, indulgence and feeling good are not always the same thing! Pay attention to how you feel to learn what really makes your feel good. Then do more of it.
What to hear more on this topic and ask Dr. Kate your questions about how to have a greater degree of health and happiness in your life? Feeling good has lots of components and in this week’s Real Answers Dr. Kate will focus on ways to break down those components so that you can see which areas of your life are most important to currently focus on.
Joining her is guest Katie McDonald, holistic health coach and founder of bnourished. Listen in as Dr. Kate and Katie discuss the mental, emotional and physical needs you will create a 360 degree plan for your total happiness.