Trust ... It's More Than You Think

By

Trust ... It's More Than You Think
There are many ways trust can be broken in a relationship. The good news is, it can also be healed.

The song, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, was made famous by Aretha Franklin, and she sure had it right as far as it being a really important aspect in relationships.  But as you may have guessed, respect is only one of the main ingredients to building a solid foundation.

As a relationship expert, I’d like to discuss another very important foundational aspect to any solid relationship: trust.  The online dictionary defines it as “a firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.”  I have no doubt that you’d agree.

Based on your past experiences in life, most people tend to be trusting in general.  When you start to get involved with someone and form a deeper relationship, it’s assumed that you can rely on this individual’s integrity and character.  Plain and simple … you just trust that, as part of the relationship, the two of you trust one another; you don’t really speak about it or question it.

Periodically, under certain circumstances, that trust between the two of you is broken.  Sometimes it may be a small breach like when one of you has promised to do something for the other and hasn’t kept that commitment.  Other times, it’s a significant one that ranges from emotional or sexual affairs to financial infidelity.

Here are two other types of trust that get broken - ones that many people don't even think about initially.  If you're out in public and you humiliate your partner ... make fun of him or her, you've also broken a trust.  What you've done is created a situation where your mate doesn't feel safe with you.  The second is if your partner has revealed something very personal to you.  Then, in the heat of an argument, you throw this information back at your mate.  This is truly a violation of trust and will lead to your significant other feeling that he or she can't be emotionally intimate with you.

I was at a workshop at a conference once where the workshop leader indicated that these last two breaches were more hurtful than affairs!

The truth is that any time trust is breached, it can be devastating to your relationship because it has rocked the foundation upon which the relationship is built.  How can you continue to be close to someone with whom you no longer feel safe?

Though the breaking of trust is devastating, it can be healed.  However, it’s a process to do so, and both parties have to be willing to work on that process.  Of course, it’s best to be mindful of how important this quality is and not hurt people who you care about … but I also want you to know that mistakes can be healed. (There are also lots of other tips to make for a strong connected relationship.)

When you open your heart to healing, it leads to a greater sense of empowerment.

To an Empowered You,

Dr. Karen

Join Dr. Karen on her weekly radio show plus get powerful tips to empower your relationship fast in Dr. Karen's FREE 21-day program!

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Karen Sherman

Author

Dr. Karen Sherman is a Psychologist and radio host of Your Empowered Relationship as well as the co-author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make it Last" and award winning "Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life." Her experet advice is sought after in print, radio, and TV. 
Connect with Dr. Karen through her FREE 21-day program or monthly newsletter
Location: Long Island, NY
Credentials: PhD
Website: http://www.DrKarenSherman.com

 

Location: Plainview, NY
Credentials: MFT, NCC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Dr. Karen Sherman:

Life, Liberty…And The Pursuit Of A Good Relationship

By

This July 4th weekend, there will no doubt be lots of parties and celebrations. Perhaps, you'll use the extra day off to sleep in and maybe you're going to a BBQ. Hopefully, you'll have time to relax with your mate and get some quality time together. But, as a relationship expert, I also feel that there are lessons to be learned from this ... Read more

5 Essential Components Of Long And Happy Marriages

By

When it comes to relationships, there's a lot of material written about how to repair the disconnect that so often occurs between partners. However, there's a lot to be learned from successful relationships as well. To help, let me share a story of a couple I worked with who really epitomizes a successful couple. Janice and Martin came to see me ... Read more

Feeling Disconnected? 5 Ways To Revitalize Your Relationship

By

One of the occupational hazards of being a relationship expert is seeing a message pertaining to relationships in a variety of other aspects of life. Given where I live, spring has arrived and I relish in seeing the rebirth. I find it absolutely fascinating that after the long, dreary months of winter, all the trees and bushes bloom again with magnificent ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB