Think Your Way to a Better You and Better Relationship

By

Think Your Way to a Better You and Better Relationship
How negative thoughts can be changed

As a relationship expert, I want to offer you a tip that will really help to empower you and your relationships.

Too often, we’re bogged down by our very own negative thoughts ... and you don’t even realize it. Research indicates you have 60,000 of these a day! These thoughts, leftovers from your past, can really damage your self-respect and self-esteem … and negatively hurt your relationships. 

 

But there’s good news! These thoughts can be changed once you’re aware that you’re having them. Whenever you’re feeling upset, you’ll also experience a physical sensation like tightness of tension in your body. (A fuller description of how to change old patterns and re-wire can be found more fully in my book, Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life.)

If you notice that your body is feeling something other than relaxed, it’s a good time to check in with what you’re thinking. This is what starts the awareness process. And although you can think up to 60,000 thoughts a day without realizing it, when you consciously have a thought in mind, you can only think one at a time.

So, once you tune in and realize what you’re thinking, it’s time to stop the thought. Since, as I said above, you can only think one thought at a time, replace the negative thought with any other neutral thought. For each of you it will be different.

For me, a picture of a flag served as my neutral thought – it had no meaning to me. But if you’re a veteran, a flag would not be neutral. I suggest something neutral rather than positive because often a positive thought will start leading to other images.

The old negative thoughts you’ve been having have been “wired-in” for a long time. Therefore, expect that they are going to come back automatically, and you will have to keep working at replacing the thought with your neutral one. That’s why I recommend using the same neutral thought each time; it will be easy to access.

So, every time you become aware that you’re having a “garbage thought” replace it with your neutral one. Though this will take time since no change happens immediately, the process will get faster and easier.

I want to assure you that soon, you will no longer be weighed down by negative-impairing thoughts and you will be moving to a more Empowered YOU!

Best,
Dr. Karen

Join Dr. Karen in her weekly radio show plus get powerful tools to empower your relationship fast in Dr. Karen's FREE 21-day program!

 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Dr. Karen Sherman

Author

Dr. Karen Sherman is a Psychologist and radio host of Your Empowered Relationship as well as the co-author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make it Last" and award winning "Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life." Her experet advice is sought after in print, radio, and TV. 
Connect with Dr. Karen through her FREE 21-day program or monthly newsletter
Location: Long Island, NY
Credentials: PhD
Website: http://www.DrKarenSherman.com

 

Location: Plainview, NY
Credentials: MFT, NCC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Dr. Karen Sherman:

6 (FREE) Gifts That Will Make Your Family Feel Ridiculously Loved

By

The season of "giving" (also known as the season of "getting") has finally arrived. Generally, we end up with lots of stuff from friends and family that we really don't want (or need). Though the gestures are nice, in reality no one likes fruit cake, and the scarf from your co-worker likely came straight out of their re-gifting ... Read more

7 Reasons To Be Grateful For Your Partner's Annoying Habits

By

As the holiday season approaches, the theme of "gratitude" often pops up as we're encouraged to take stock of all that we're thankful for. Yet, when it comes to thinking kindly of our partner, many couples struggle to find anything to appreciate. The day-to-day realities of life often keep our annoyance with our partners front of mind, ... Read more

Make A Commitment Already! 9 Tips That Help Love Feel Less Scary

By

The season is here for haunted houses, jack o' lanterns, kids going trick-or-treating, and things that go bump in the night. It can be fun and empowering to toy with the idea of what scares us (dressing up in costumes, watching scary movies, and telling ghost stories) but if you really want to prove you’re bold and brave, I challenge you to also take ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular