The divorced couples in the article suggest learning how to manage conflict, which is important because a leading researcher showed that with 85 percent accuracy, he could predict within 15 minutes which couples would divorce, simply by watching how they handled conflicts.
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Fortunately, you can learn from these divorcées' mistakes and learn to manage conflict in your marriage.
Think about it. You took the time to learn the skills of whatever career you're in, so you can also learn the tools to manage conflict in your marriage. And since you can't make change without awareness, start by being aware of this important fact: Not only is it normal to have conflicts in a relationship, in fact, having conflicts is a good thing; it means you feel safe with each other.
When couples tell me they never fight, it's a red flag. So, don't be alarmed if you and your significant other disagree from time to time. What matters is how you manage it. With that in mind, here are five rules for successful conflict management:
1. Don't attack. When you want to bring something to your partner's attention, discuss it from your point of view. If you blame it on your mate, he is going to either shut down or shout back.
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2. No name calling. Name-calling is a form of attacking. You might not even realize there are indirect ways of name-calling. For example, accusing your mate of being lazy or sloppy is very harmful. Keep reading ...
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