5 Rules For Fighting Fair With Your Husband

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couple arguing pointing finger
Learn why successful conflict management is the key to matrimonial bliss.

In an article on Time.com, divorced couples offer lessons about what it takes to sustain a solid marriage. Relationships are tough; they require a whole lot more than love to make them succeed.

The divorced couples in the article suggest learning how to manage conflict, which is important because a leading researcher showed that with 85 percent accuracy, he could predict within 15 minutes which couples would divorce, simply by watching how they handled conflicts.


Fortunately, you can learn from these divorcées' mistakes and learn to manage conflict in your marriage.

Think about it. You took the time to learn the skills of whatever career you're in, so you can also learn the tools to manage conflict in your marriage. And since you can't make change without awareness, start by being aware of this important fact: Not only is it normal to have conflicts in a relationship, in fact, having conflicts is a good thing; it means you feel safe with each other.

When couples tell me they never fight, it's a red flag. So, don't be alarmed if you and your significant other disagree from time to time. What matters is how you manage it. With that in mind, here are five rules for successful conflict management:

1. Don't attack. When you want to bring something to your partner's attention, discuss it from your point of view. If you blame it on your mate, he is going to either shut down or shout back.

2. No name calling. Name-calling is a form of attacking. You might not even realize there are indirect ways of name-calling. For example, accusing your mate of being lazy or sloppy is very harmful. Keep reading ...

More relationship advice from YourTango:

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Dr. Karen Sherman

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Dr. Karen Sherman is a Psychologist and radio host of Your Empowered Relationship as well as the co-author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make it Last" and award winning "Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life." Her experet advice is sought after in print, radio, and TV. 
Connect with Dr. Karen through her FREE 21-day program or monthly newsletter
Location: Long Island, NY
Credentials: PhD
Website: http://www.DrKarenSherman.com

 

Location: Plainview, NY
Credentials: MFT, NCC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues
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