5 Lessons from Sandy for Your Relationship

By

5 Lessons from Sandy for Your Relationship
Out of devastation there are things to be learned to enhance your relationship.

For many of you, like me, you're still in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.  Clearly, the intensity of the devastation varied both in actual damage and in the time that people were inconvenienced. I was fortunate to not have any real damage.  However, we did live without power for 12 days.  We moved around from house to house, thanks to the graciousness of family and friends.

Whenever there's something traumatic such as this event, I try to reflect on it and see if there are certain lessons to be gained.  Before I share these insights, I must continue with a little more of my personal story.  Two days after regaining power, I was in my room and suddenly heard the alarm go off, signifying a loss of power ... once again!  “Oh, no!” I thought, “How could this be happening again?”

 

I called LIPA and got what was clearly a canned recording, since they reported that the outage was called in several hours previously.  Outraged, I went to my husband who told me he knew there was a LIPA truck on the block.  I continued to tell him, in a rather emotional way, my intent of finding this truck and getting down to the bottom of what was going on.  Admittedly, I was going on and on.  Suddenly, he was chuckling at me.  “Karen, the lights just went back on.”  In all my emotionality, I hadn’t even noticed!  Even  psychologists lose it.  (Sometimes, our buttons get pushed to a greater extent and these come from our past.  Fortunately, there are ways to heal from this.)

Of course, in my practice, I’ve also checked in on how everyone has dealt with the difficulties during this time. 

So, here are the lessons I’ve learned:

1. Emotions cloud clear thinking (I didn’t realize the lights came back on). (Certainly things from our past do this all the time, though these can be re-wired.)
2. People will put away their differences to deal with the more stressful situation at hand (as reported to me by most of my couples).
3. When the actual stressful situation is over, the residual emotions of being stressed comes out (I reacted to a small situation once the larger one was fine).
4. When something you have is taken away, it’s hard to regain a sense of trust (every time the lights flicker, I’m concerned the power is going off again).
5. Connecting with those close to us is what really counts (so many people told me that without access to a computer or TV it was really nice getting back to the basics of being with each other).

Perhaps the biggest lesson of all, and one that I always conclude when there’s something devastating that occurs is this:  it is SO important to appreciate the little things in life.  In this case, it was the ability to use my washing machine and microwave. 

Article contributed by

Dr. Karen Sherman

Author

Dr. Karen Sherman is a Psychologist and radio host of Your Empowered Relationship as well as the co-author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make it Last" and award winning "Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life." Her experet advice is sought after in print, radio, and TV. 
Connect with Dr. Karen through her FREE 21-day program or monthly newsletter
Location: Long Island, NY
Credentials: PhD
Website: http://www.DrKarenSherman.com

 

Location: Plainview, NY
Credentials: MFT, NCC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Dr. Karen Sherman:

6 (FREE) Gifts That Will Make Your Family Feel Ridiculously Loved

By

The season of "giving" (also known as the season of "getting") has finally arrived. Generally, we end up with lots of stuff from friends and family that we really don't want (or need). Though the gestures are nice, in reality no one likes fruit cake, and the scarf from your co-worker likely came straight out of their re-gifting ... Read more

7 Reasons To Be Grateful For Your Partner's Annoying Habits

By

As the holiday season approaches, the theme of "gratitude" often pops up as we're encouraged to take stock of all that we're thankful for. Yet, when it comes to thinking kindly of our partner, many couples struggle to find anything to appreciate. The day-to-day realities of life often keep our annoyance with our partners front of mind, ... Read more

Make A Commitment Already! 9 Tips That Help Love Feel Less Scary

By

The season is here for haunted houses, jack o' lanterns, kids going trick-or-treating, and things that go bump in the night. It can be fun and empowering to toy with the idea of what scares us (dressing up in costumes, watching scary movies, and telling ghost stories) but if you really want to prove you’re bold and brave, I challenge you to also take ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular