What Are You Bringing to Your Divorce?

By

What Are You Bringing to Your Divorce?
What you bring with you to your divorce will color and define your experience.
  1. I was too close to what was going on and making the worst of what was happening. I needed to step out of all of my emotions and look at the sale of the house as the business transaction it was.
  2. As an adult, no one has control over my life unless I give it to them. I could still choose what I want to be, to do, and to have in my life even if this first attempt at selling our home didn’t work out. I just needed to be willing to work for it and accept the consequences of my decisions.
  3. My perception of what was going on was creating my reality. As long as I believed the buyer and his realtor were jerking us around, I was being jerked around. As soon as

I changed my belief and the story I was telling myself, I could see that this buyer just might be afraid of the responsibilities of home ownership and I could more easily put my anger and frustration aside.

These three important things are exactly what I work with my clients on to help them identify what they’re bringing to their “divorce party” and then change their experience to one that feels better and more hopeful.

Your Functional Divorce Assignment:

If your divorce and the legal process have you tied up in knots, here are some ideas for loosening the knots.

Develop the skill of moving between your emotional self and your logical self. There is a time and place for experiencing the rollercoaster of emotions that typically accompany divorce.  There’s also a time and place for putting them to the side so you can make the business decisions that need to be made during divorce.

Decide what you want to be true about your life one year from today. For most of us who go through divorce, the divorce can be all consuming. We can get in the habit of just doing the minimum to get by because of all the energy and effort involved in getting divorced. What we tend to forget is that our lives will go on. By developing a sense of hope or desire for something in the future, you’ll be able to get through what needs to happen with the divorce because you know things will be better.

Which of your beliefs are keeping you tied up in knots? The wonderful thing about beliefs are that they are all yours which means you have complete and total control of whether or not you keep them. If you have a belief or two that are contributing to your misery, you might want to consider what you life would be like if you changed or dropped them. If you recognize that your life would be better without these beliefs, you might have just discovered the oomph you need to change them.

Because I know that we usually develop beliefs because of a lack of information, I’ve written a special report “The 5 Things You Need to Know About Your Divorce.” Get your copy for free.

Article contributed by

Dr Karen Finn

Divorce Coach

Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce coach and the owner of The Functional Divorce. She works with people through all the different life changes divorce creates so they can get to living the best of their lives.

She is the author of On the Road from Heartbreak to Happiness daily messages to help you help yourself heal from divorce.

Dr. Karen is happy to give you "The 5 Things You MUST Know About Your Divorce". In it you'll get the information you need to be prepared for how your divorce will change your life.

 

 

Location: Ovilla, TX
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr Karen Finn:

How To Fend Off Divorce Overwhelm And Find Happiness Again

By

Divorce can feel like a tornado that has torn its way through your life and destroyed everything — your hopes, dreams, marriage, family and home — everything that made your life what it was. Now, it's all gone. You're left staring at the wreckage and despite the fear, shock and wrenching grief, you know you need to hold ... Read more

Ask Yourself These 7 Questions Before You Dive Back Into Dating

By

I had lots of questions during and after my divorce: How do I choose an attorney? When will this pain stop? Can I live on this budget? How do I know if I'm ready to date? OK, the truth is that I wish I'd asked myself that last question. But unfortunately, I didn't ... not until a couple of years after I began the dating process again and, boy, ... Read more

Wish Your Ex Would Die? It's Ok, You're Not Alone

By

Divorce sucks. Two people who married with dreams of happily-ever-after become enemies who seemingly simultaneously want their former spouse to die and to love them again. It's a confusing, frustrating and maddening situation to be in. More often than not, a divorcing spouse will lean toward one of the two opposing fantasies. I leaned toward wishing my ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular