What Are You Bringing to Your Divorce?

By

What Are You Bringing to Your Divorce?
What you bring with you to your divorce will color and define your experience.
  1. I was too close to what was going on and making the worst of what was happening. I needed to step out of all of my emotions and look at the sale of the house as the business transaction it was.
  2. As an adult, no one has control over my life unless I give it to them. I could still choose what I want to be, to do, and to have in my life even if this first attempt at selling our home didn’t work out. I just needed to be willing to work for it and accept the consequences of my decisions.
  3. My perception of what was going on was creating my reality. As long as I believed the buyer and his realtor were jerking us around, I was being jerked around. As soon as

I changed my belief and the story I was telling myself, I could see that this buyer just might be afraid of the responsibilities of home ownership and I could more easily put my anger and frustration aside.

These three important things are exactly what I work with my clients on to help them identify what they’re bringing to their “divorce party” and then change their experience to one that feels better and more hopeful.

 

Your Functional Divorce Assignment:

If your divorce and the legal process have you tied up in knots, here are some ideas for loosening the knots.

Develop the skill of moving between your emotional self and your logical self. There is a time and place for experiencing the rollercoaster of emotions that typically accompany divorce.  There’s also a time and place for putting them to the side so you can make the business decisions that need to be made during divorce.

Decide what you want to be true about your life one year from today. For most of us who go through divorce, the divorce can be all consuming. We can get in the habit of just doing the minimum to get by because of all the energy and effort involved in getting divorced. What we tend to forget is that our lives will go on. By developing a sense of hope or desire for something in the future, you’ll be able to get through what needs to happen with the divorce because you know things will be better.

Which of your beliefs are keeping you tied up in knots? The wonderful thing about beliefs are that they are all yours which means you have complete and total control of whether or not you keep them. If you have a belief or two that are contributing to your misery, you might want to consider what you life would be like if you changed or dropped them. If you recognize that your life would be better without these beliefs, you might have just discovered the oomph you need to change them.

Because I know that we usually develop beliefs because of a lack of information, I’ve written a special report “The 5 Things You Need to Know About Your Divorce.” Get your copy for free.

Article contributed by

Dr Karen Finn

Divorce Coach

Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce coach and the owner of The Functional Divorce. She works with people through all the different life changes divorce creates so they can get to living the best of their lives.

She is the author of On the Road from Heartbreak to Happiness daily messages to help you help yourself heal from divorce.

Dr. Karen is happy to give you "The 5 Things You MUST Know About Your Divorce". In it you'll get the information you need to be prepared for how your divorce will change your life.

 

 

Location: Ovilla, TX
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr Karen Finn:

Want To Cure Breakup Grief? It's Simple ... Be Happy

By

A breakup can feel like a tornado has come through and wiped from the face of the earth everything you thought your life was. You're walking around in a state of shock trying to make sense of what has happened. And you're just not finding much of anything to rebuild your life upon. The grief can simply be overwhelming. Why is it like this? Why do ... Read more

3 Essential Truths That Will Help You Find Life Balance, FINALLY!

By

I'm turning 50 in just a few days. Honestly, I'm excited about it. This has honestly been the best part of my life because I've finally found balance, and for me balance translates to happiness. But finding it and learning how to hold on to it took me years to figure out. And, I wish it hadn't. So, I'm going to tell you the 3 best life ... Read more

5 Ways To Make Sure Deal Breakers Don't Ruin Your Relationship

By

If you saw someone living inside a tiny cardboard box, you'd probably feel sad, wouldn't you? Or maybe you'd feel sorry for them or even angry that they didn't make better choices about how they lived.  What if I told you that you live trapped in a very small box? How would you feel? I bet you'd deny it and think I was ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular