Separated or Divorced: The Easy Road?

By

Separated or Divorced: The Easy Road?
Many consider separation and divorce the easy road compared to marriage. This isn't always the case.

Have you ever heard someone say that instead of working things out a couple is taking the easy road by deciding to separate and divorce?  I have and all I can say to those ignorant people is “Seriously?  You have no idea what it takes to get divorced.”


Making the decision that a relationship in which you’ve invested YEARS of your life is better off ending than continuing is FAR from easy.  In fact, it’s usually gut wrenching.  Although there are the extremely rare people who enter into a marriage with the intent that it end with divorce, the rest of us jump into marriage with both feet, a sense of commitment and a willingness to make things work whatever that takes.  And did I mention we usually spend YEARS trying to make things work before we ever think of separation or divorce.  I certainly don’t see how any sane person can look at a couple who’s divorcing and say they’re taking the easy road.


Reaching the decision to separate and divorce is hard.  It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made not only in the moment the decision was made, but in the fall-out of that decision.  EVERYTHING changed in that moment.  Not all the changes were for the better – at least not in the short-term.  I came face-to-face with some hard truths about me and how I was living my life.  It wasn’t all pretty and took a whole lot of really hard work to get me straightened out.  BUT I am a much healthier and happier person now. 


The road I’ve taken since my separation and divorce hasn’t been easy, but it has felt much more alive and real than the road I was on in my first marriage.

You can find out more about my work around divorce at www.functionaldivorce.com.  While you're there, be sure and get the special report: The 5 Things You Must Know About Your Divorce.

This article was originally published at The Funcational Divorce . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Dr Karen Finn

Divorce Coach

Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce coach and the owner of The Functional Divorce. She works with people through all the different life changes divorce creates so they can get to living the best of their lives.

She is the author of On the Road from Heartbreak to Happiness daily messages to help you help yourself heal from divorce.

Dr. Karen is happy to give you "The 5 Things You MUST Know About Your Divorce". In it you'll get the information you need to be prepared for how your divorce will change your life.

 

 

Location: Ovilla, TX
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr Karen Finn:

Wish Your Ex Would Die? It's Ok, You're Not Alone

By

Divorce sucks. Two people who married with dreams of happily-ever-after become enemies who seemingly simultaneously want their former spouse to die and to love them again. It's a confusing, frustrating and maddening situation to be in. More often than not, a divorcing spouse will lean toward one of the two opposing fantasies. I leaned toward wishing my ... Read more

Who Needs Your Ex? Give Yourself A Massage

By

One of the things that surprised me when I got divorced was how much I missed being touched. During the course of a typical day, my ex and I would accidentally bump into each other in the kitchen, briefly touch hands while we handed things to each other or touch the other on the arm to quietly capture their attention. Somehow after my divorce, this lack of ... Read more

You May Be Mad At Your Ex, But Don’t Be An Exhole

By

An exhole is an ex who acts like an a**hole. In my role as a divorce coach, I've heard all kinds of stories from my clients and family law attorneys. Many times, the stories a client tells me are about their ex behaving like an exhole, but not always. Sometimes I have clients who don't immediately realize that THEY are the exhole. Here are some ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.