Getting Divorced: Are You Still Lovable?

By

Getting Divorced: Are You Still Lovable?
How a celebrity break-up can help you discover that you're definitely still lovable.

I recently read an article ridiculing Robin Thick for giving his estranged wife, Paula Patton, gifts and public apologies to woo her back. What I found so interesting is the obvious derision the author had for his attempts.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning cheating. I’m also not ignoring the fact that it takes a lot of hard work by both parties for a relationship to survive an affair. What I am surprised by is how the author of the article assumes that Thicke’s attempts are obviously wrong.

Gary Chapman has done some important work on love languages that is important to consider before an outsider can make any judgments on the validity of Thicke’s or anyone else’s attempts at showing love and apologizing.

Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, identifies five different ways that people give and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. We each naturally express love in the ways that we prefer to receive love.

Get your FREE copy of Dr. Karen’s special report “5 Things You Must Know About Your Divorce.”

Considering Thicke’s attempts to woo Patton back involve public apologies and lavish gifts, I’m guessing that two of his preferred love languages are words of affirmation and receiving gifts. Based upon the reporter’s article and Patton’s reported response to the gifts, I’m guessing that neither one has receiving gifts as their preferred love language.

What does this have to do with you? A lot! Knowing your love language is a critical step in recovering from divorce.

Being clear about how you receive love can help you know how to make sure you still feel loved despite the end of your relationship. You’ll be able to discover ways to show yourself love. You’ll also be able to explicitly ask your family and friends (a.k.a. your support team) for the things you need to feel loved.

For example, if your preferred love language is words of affirmation, you could speak words of affirmation to yourself as you look into your eyes in the mirror.

If your preferred love language is physical touch, you could get a therapeutic massage or ask your support team to give you more hugs.

Your Functional Divorce Assignment:

Discover your primary love language. Take this quick on-line quiz and discover your primary love language.

Think of one way you can show yourself that you’re loved. Once you know one way that you can show yourself that you love you, do it!

My primary love language is acts of service. A couple of ways I let myself know that I love me are having a housekeeper in to clean my home and daily exercise.

Article contributed by

Dr Karen Finn

Divorce Coach

Dr. Karen Finn is a divorce coach and the owner of The Functional Divorce. She works with people through all the different life changes divorce creates so they can get to living the best of their lives.

She is the author of On the Road from Heartbreak to Happiness daily messages to help you help yourself heal from divorce.

Dr. Karen is happy to give you "The 5 Things You MUST Know About Your Divorce". In it you'll get the information you need to be prepared for how your divorce will change your life.

 

 

Location: Ovilla, TX
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr Karen Finn:

I Became My Own Divorce Superhero And Rescued Myself From Fear

By

Numb and terrified. I spent so much time scared out of my mind after my divorce, worrying about what might happen to me. My nightmares were so bad, I hardly slept. And eating wasn't happening much either, as I constantly felt nauseous and without an appetite. My thoughts looped around a racetrack, imagining one possible catastrophe that might ... Read more

Can A Rubber Band Help You Get Over Your Ex? (Yep, Seriously.)

By

As she picks up her keys and heads off to work, Donna does one final check to make sure she's got everything. She thinks, Ugh, I need to stop by the grocery on the way home to pick up something for dinner. And just as easily as that, without even realizing it, her mind instantly slides into that old, distressing familiar rut: It's so nice not to ... Read more

Keeping My Word To My Husband Nearly Destroyed My Life

By

The groundwork for my divorce was laid before I ever got married. I turned 19-years old a month before I met the man I would marry just 10 months later. Back then, I used to love to go out to clubs to dance and have a couple of drinks with my friends (the drinking age was 19 where I lived). But, my boyfriend did not drink. He also didn't dance. So I ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular