3. Figure out what "fun" means to you. I'm well aware that my tradition of running on July 4th in 90-degree heat is not everyone's idea of a good time. Sometimes you really have to think about what would be fun for you. It doesn't have to be exotic or public. On some holidays, I just like to stay home with a good novel and veg out. It's fun for me.
4. And stop judging yourself. The tendency to judge ourselves based on what we decide others would think undermines self-esteem, self-confidence and all other hyphenated self things in a diabolical manner. Just do what you think would be good for you. Be authentic. Don't evaluate it except after the fact — and then only with regard to whether you'd like to do it again next year.
More from YourTango: How My One True Love Has Never Forsaken Me
5. Realize that this isn't the end of your love life. I don't mean to minimize your pain, but seriously, one day is not that big a deal. Alright, maybe I do mean to minimize your pain by suggesting that you can handle this, and reminding you that you've undoubtedly handled much bigger problems. You can set an intention not to get too caught up in this one or any holiday.
More from YourTango: Girl Crush: What I Love About The Amazing Lena Dunham
This year I'm not racing, so I'm probably going to take my son into a baseball game instead, even though it'll be hotter than Hades here in Georgia. It'll still be fun because there will be fireworks. My challenge to you is to ask yourself what you can do to make this year's holidays new and fun. Even though the Fourth of July is a red, white and blue holiday, a little less emphasis on the blues is definitely in order.