I recently had a therapy client return to me after her marriage of 10 years fell apart. Needless to say, she was devastated by her husband’s decision to end their relationship in pursuit of another. She felt so betrayed and her future bankrupted by his selfish decision that she had lost all direction as to where and who she wanted to be in life. Sitting in front of me, she admitted that she felt as though she were floundering and unable to gain traction in any way. As a therapist, I provided her with emotional support and psychological comfort. As a coach, I suggested that she consider creating a vision of who and where she wanted to be.
During the coaching process, I asked my client questions like – describe your ‘best’ future self; describe your perfect workday; describe the career of your dreams. She paused to think about the questions and decided it would be in her best interest to go home and contemplate on those answers. At our next session she told me what happened when she got back to her house after the last appointment.
She told me that she took the rest of the day off to work on her vision and sat down at her computer to answer the questions. The question that stood out the most was the one about describing the career of her dreams. She was able to imagine that answer almost immediately and wrote it down. She took a break to answer some emails, and decided to open one that she would normally trash. The written words before her described the job of her dreams, which she had just contemplated a few minutes earlier.
She applied for the position immediately and within hours she was contacted for an interview. Two weeks later she was offered the position and accepted it. She gave credit for her success to our conversation around her life vision in that she would have never opened that email. She was completely surprised by how powerful and in her case, how fast life responded to having her vision. While it is impossible to predict how quickly our visions become our reality, it is extremely important to create and communicate that vision. So what’s holding you back?
Dr. Beiter is a licensed psychologist with offices in Michigan & Pennsylvania. He is a certified sex therapist and relationship coach. He can be reached at 412-398-7383.