If one were to assume that the path to forgiveness is attainable then one must seek to understand what blocks the path. If we harbor resentments for every wrong that happened in our life, then we must ask just how big is our harbor? How many floating crafts can we secure? Apparently, it would seem that we are able to accommodate many types of differing shapes and sizes, from passing indiscretions provided by those insensitive others who may have been oblivious to the nature of the trespass, to the malicious, first-degree intended wrongdoer. The path is also blocked by one’s attitude toward self, world and other. By experiencing the world in a narrow out to get me attitude we are left adrift and unable to navigate our way in any other direction. It would be the equivalent of having one’s rudder locked in the extreme right or left position allowing travel in only one direction. This is what keeps one stuck and unable to proceed further.
Another roadblock on one’s path is the perception that forgiveness equates to condoning the actions of the other in ways that say “it was okay what you did to me.” This loosely translates into comprehending forgiveness as a sign of weakness. In other word, it sets one up to be the proverbial doormat, where anyone at anytime can walk all over a person without the slightest regards for one’s feelings. Part and parcel to this perception is the belief that forgiveness is for the other person. On the contrary, forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of self-love that one can administer to oneself. When we choose not to forgive, we really hurt ourselves. We allow the transgression and transgressor to maintain their grip on our person, affecting every aspect of our being including our health and interpersonal relationships. The effects of not forgiving can spread through our lives like an unstoppable cancer, devouring the life’s blood necessary for our existence. It colors the lens from which we view the world and our experiences within by dimming the bright and hopeful to the drab and lifeless. We become bitter and angry, fostering a poison that careens through our veins. In the end, however, the choice is ours, do not forgive and suffer the consequences or forgive and recover your spirit from all those places where we left it behind, gaining strength, health and confidence.
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