Help, My Wife Wants to Leave Me

By

Help, My Wife Wants to Leave Me
Doing the right thing may make all of the difference.

Now is the time to express a deep sense of regret that she did not feel you were there for her.  You can easily name all of the reasons why you could not be there, but don’t.  Just let yourself imagine what it was like to be her place in that moment and express appreciation that she must have felt very alone.  
This will mean more to her because she often has felt that you would only get defensive and tell her why she was crazy to feel the way she has.   Now saying that you are sorry, that she has your attention and you do not ever want this to happen again may make all of the difference.
Of course there are no guarantees that this will work.  The tragic part of doing marriage counseling for me, is that couples often wait too long to reach this point and too much water has gone over the dam.  The wounds have begun to harden into scar tissue. 
Rest assured,  however, if you challenge yourself to take her seriously in this way,  you have opened the door that has the most likely chance of softening her heart so that she and you can now seek help to find new tools and skills to know what a deep intimate relationship can be.

Article contributed by

Dr. Jim Walkup LMFT

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Learn quickly the best practices for effectively communicating, ending useless fighting, and supporting each other's search for meaning.   Don't settle for a lukewarm or worse partnership.  Addressing the problems now will usher you into building the relationship you have always wanted. 

 

 

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: DMin, LMFT
Other Articles/News by Dr. Jim Walkup LMFT:

Is An Emotional Affair Less Dangerous Than A Sexual Affair?

By

In a word, the answer is “Yes.” Women and men often disagree about this. Let me say that from a marriage counseling perspective, emotional affairs have just as much power to break up a relationship. Many men think that if they have not had sex, than they have honored the marriage vows and the wife should not worry. Some men but not all, feel ... Read more

Life After The Honeymoon Phase: How To Grow In Your Marriage

By

Do you remember how amazed you were by the ways you and your newfound beloved were similar before your marriage? Maybe you loved the same movies, or enjoyed sports or savored fined food and wine. After six months to two years of that "in-love" feeling you may wake to a sense of disappointment at the reality of how different he really is. You may ... Read more

The #1 Oh-So-Sweet Weapon Happy Couples Use To End Conflict

By

Did you know that some of the couples who seem angriest with each other actually have a satisfying marriage? At times, it might not feel  that way when you are around them. But, they may not tell you their secrets: In spite of their angry exchanges, they still have many more affirming and positive interactions. They have developed a ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular