Help, My Wife Wants to Leave Me

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Help, My Wife Wants to Leave Me
Doing the right thing may make all of the difference.

Now is the time to express a deep sense of regret that she did not feel you were there for her.  You can easily name all of the reasons why you could not be there, but don’t.  Just let yourself imagine what it was like to be her place in that moment and express appreciation that she must have felt very alone.  
This will mean more to her because she often has felt that you would only get defensive and tell her why she was crazy to feel the way she has.   Now saying that you are sorry, that she has your attention and you do not ever want this to happen again may make all of the difference.
Of course there are no guarantees that this will work.  The tragic part of doing marriage counseling for me, is that couples often wait too long to reach this point and too much water has gone over the dam.  The wounds have begun to harden into scar tissue. 
Rest assured,  however, if you challenge yourself to take her seriously in this way,  you have opened the door that has the most likely chance of softening her heart so that she and you can now seek help to find new tools and skills to know what a deep intimate relationship can be.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Jim Walkup LMFT

Marriage/Couples Counselor

Learn quickly the best practices for effectively communicating, ending useless fighting, and supporting each other's search for meaning.   Don't settle for a lukewarm or worse partnership.  Addressing the problems now will usher you into having the relationship you have always wanted. 

 

 

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: DMin, LMFT
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