Myth #4: All therapy is about is talking about childhood
Inherent in this myth is the idea that talking about one’s childhood endlessly will not help in the here and now.
Fact: While some background is important for the therapist to understand, most couples therapists do focus on the here and now. Your partner was probably not in your life when you were 5.
An EFT trained therapist may spend a session or two asking about some of your early experiences, as they likely have an impact on how you relate to the world and form relationships in general, but couples therapy is really about changing patterns, not living in the past.
Myth #5: Couples therapy just involves catharsis
Catharsis is when you just “let it all out.” In the past, some couples therapists had husbands and wives hit each other with blow up toys.
Fact: Research has demonstrated that having couples hit each other with blow up toys doesn’t work. Catharsis really isn’t what’s needed. You probably let it out on each other a lot; paying someone to host you and allow you to scream at each other in their office isn’t going to do you good.
Good couples therapy is much more than catharsis. It gets underneath what’s going on when you’re letting each other have it with each other. Good couples therapy, like EFT, slows everything down so you have an up close look at your own process and get to share that with your partner.
You’re not just going to yell at each other, you’re going to have an entirely new experience of yourself and your partner when you start with the right therapist.
So don’t be afraid of couples therapy!
It has helped countless couples enrich and save their relationships.
Stay tuned for the next 5 myths debunked next week.
Cheers to your best relationship,