What To Do When He Says 'I'm Not In Love With You'

What To Do When He Says 'I'm Not In Love With You' [EXPERT]
Love, Heartbreak

Three little tips to help you survive those awful words.

He may love his spouse and want to be with her forever, but there is a biological pull, usually unconscious, that says, "Look, staying with a woman who can't have more children isn't going to help you populate the world. Fall in love with someone that can still make babies."

Rather than ignoring this biological reality, make it work for you instead.  You don't have to go on a diet and get back to the weight you were when you were 20 or get your body plucked, peeled, and perked to look like a 25-year-old. But you can take care of yourself to make sure you feel and look good at any age. You can make changes in your attitude and appearance to become a new you. 

There's a story. Maybe it's even true. A woman puts her profile up on a dating site.  She focuses on the good qualities she has and thinks about the kind of man she'd like to meet. An interesting stranger answers her ad and the way he describes himself seems exciting and dreamy.  And it turns out to be her husband.

You don't have to go that far.  You can break up the old mind-set that says, "we're an old married couple" and think like the girl you were when you were excited about finding that special someone.  It can be fun to reinvent ourselves periodically. 

My wife, Carlin, and I have been married more than 30 years.  After we had been married for 15 years, we decided to start over and decide how we would want to be for the next 15 years. We went away together, renewed our vows and went on a second honeymoon. What can you do to become the new woman of his dreams?

3. You can't keep your relationship alive unless you're willing to lose it. Most of us are afraid of losing the one we love.  It's so frightening that we do everything we can to block the fear out of our minds. So when he says, "I'm not in love with you," we do everything we can to hold the relationship together. 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.


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