1. Remember that anger can come up at any time - and for most people will come up at some point or another.
2. Become aware of the anger - take notice that you are feeling it. Accept that it is happening.
3. Stop and ask yourself why this emotion is showing up. Ask what your ego may be trying to protect you from.
4. Transform the feeling with love. Imagine love radiating from your heart towards whatever brought on the anger. Continue to focus love towards this person, animal, object or situation until you feel calmer. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Repeat breathing deeply and as you exhale imagine love and compassion flowing from you toward your point of anger. Consider this as a moment to be thankful for - as it is an opportunity for growth within you.
These steps will take practice. It doesn't happen overnight anymore than learning to ski or learning to do a pirouette happens the first time you try. You will fall down. You will lose your balance. Just keep trying. It is well worth the effort for you and for everyone around you and beyond. Make this Valentine’s Day the start of moving through, accepting and transforming your feelings of anger as they arise. It still is a day for love – it just doesn’t have to always be the mushy kind.
More from YourTango: Sacred Sex Opens a Gateway