By selecting the first definition, one can look deeper into the conflict or disagreement to attempt to resolve the differences, if they are resolvable. By selecting the second definition, by focusing on this “meaning” of the word, it is more likely to result in an escalation of emotions and less energy is spent trying to resolve the problems. By concentrating on the second “meaning” of the ending of a relationship many people appear to be stopped by an adolescent definition of relationship, e. g., “If you were really my friend you’d agree (put up with) everything I do.” An adult response would be to realize whether there are enough points of difference or conflict, that will only become more exaggerated over time, and that neither party would want to continue. This understanding is also too often lacking in the person who wants to end the relationship as well as a person who wants to continue. In other words, some people can’t agree to disagree and they spend more time and energy trying to deny imagined deficiencies in themselves or to imagine deficiencies in the other person.
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