This seems to be a big one in the celebrity world. Schedules are conflicting due to different projects; movies, shoots etc. and the celebrity couple simply don’t have enough time to spend with each other. They are committed to their crafts and to the promotional work required for their projects and often prioritize it over their relationship. This can be a dynamic that creates resentment and distance over time. The couple begins to feel like they are living separate lives. And one or both may feel slighted or angry that the other chooses not to prioritize them over their careers. Yet they themselves exhibit the same behavior. It is an intersection of a lot of complicated dynamics.
Look, there is a lot to do as a celebrity. The schedule can be packed with travel and appearances, long shoot days, etc. And celebrity is fleeting. One must take advantage of it while there is momentum so saying “no” is difficult when one’s star is rising. Or even semi-rising. And then there may be some narcissism in the mix. When one hears the term “narcissist”, the image of a selfish, self absorbed, arrogant person comes to mind. And don’t get me wrong, this is true. But there’s more. Behind every narcissist is an insecure, wounded person. An individual who feels less than, not tended to, in danger of losing a sense of themselves. Becoming a celebrity can generate delicious feelings on the opposite side of the spectrum. En masse. The attention and adoration one receives as a celebrity can create a feeling of well being, self esteem, self worth and import that is very consuming and heady. And serves to mask those unwanted feelings of insecurity. So, in a sense, the celebrity stuff becomes addictive. For some, it can serve to cover up painful, negative, unwanted feelings.
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So for that subset of celebrities, choosing to engage in all behaviors that can generate those feelings of well being is hard to pass up. So in these circumstances, given the choice: movie premieres vs. wife’s 30th birthday---movie premiere wins out. Too often. Maybe even every time. This dynamic can spread the seeds of disconnection.
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Celebrities have access to a lot of people, places, and things that regular folks don’t. In many ways, this is a wonderful thing; fun, exciting, adventurous. In other ways, this access can distill the feelings and connection one may have to their marriage and partner. Access to people means access to a lot of beautiful, interesting people in beautiful, interesting settings. Movie sets, music tours, sound stages, production studios are intimate places at which celebrities spend hours working, creating, and being. This provides time for intimacy to build outside of one’s marriage. The very nature of the work sanctions, even encourages, this kind of intimate interaction. After all, it makes for better chemistry, a better film. This may cause temptation, infidelity, or at minimum, a sense of distance in a relationship. This dynamic may ultimately be a significant and contributing factor to the end of a celebrity marriage.