- What are the 3 things you are not so hot about this person?
- What are the 3 things that this relationship causes the most damage for you
- Can you live with these things?
- What would need to be done in order to make these things better?
- What do you need and what does your partner need?
- Is there a possibility for harmony?
- How long will this take?
- How much energy and effort will it require?
Is the ratio of benefits vs. effort towards harmony less than 60:40?
As trite as it sounds, ultimately, you need to listen to what feels right on the inside. Be honest with yourself and really evaluate the reasons why you are with your partner. Ignoring your inner voice will only lead to more damage and time lost stuck in a negative cycle. Be careful where you spend your energy, regardless of whether you stay with, or leave your partner. Above all, remember the difference between insanity and persistence.
For more help or advice about relationships, visit DrFrankie.com. I am licensed psychologist with years of helping couples in all stages of their relationships. I love what I do and I want to help. Contact me today.