Winning a man's love and respect is sometimes about being able to say "No!" to his initial requests.
As the female characters of E.L. James best seller Fifty Shades of Grey admit themselves, they are very similar. Christian Grey has a certain type of woman he prefers to bed, Christian, however, regards one only as his sexual sub, and the other he makes an adored wife. Both women, it turns out, really want to be legitimately emotionally close to him; and Leila is bereft when she sees that her successor can achieve that transition. What differentiates Anastasia’s eventual status is that she is able to negotiate: She is able to say no to Christian’s initial terms and requests. Anastasia empowers herself to be able to walk away and leave the deal on the table. Far too many women are too pleasing and appeasing when it comes to men. Women are raised to be good girls and to make it easy on people - not frustrate them. Too often women will go out of their own comfort zone to please or keep a man. This is not the road to respect: Take stock of your own values, and be prepared to challenge a man’s terms. The respect you create may have him smitten. And if you decide to be with him, you have not lost yourself.
Dr. Eryn Oberlander
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