Valentine's Day is romantic. We give and receive bouquets of flowers, huge heart shaped chocolates, teddy bears carrying heart shaped candies and chocolates, and love cards that make us feel oh-so special. So my question to you is: Are you giving someone a special valentine this year? Are you expecting to receive one from your significant other?
When we are single, alone, feeling lonely and not sure if we will ever meet someone to form a relationship with, we may look longingly at couples that appear to have it all. But appearances can be deceiving. Some people give material gifts including flowers, jewelry, new autormobiles, fur coats, yet the kindness, the communication and the true sense of intimacy is just not there. And then there are those unthinking, self-absorbed people who may not provide the sentimental gifts, may feel silly buying flowers or sending cards, yet would fight to the end to provide for or save the one they love.
Gift giving comes in many ways, not always in the way we want, desire and expect. The wise lover observes the gifts naturally provided by their signficant other, even if it is not exactly what was hoped for. Some men may actually believe that they are being loving when they fix something that is broken, take your car to the shop, handle the negotiations for you, or share a night of romantic love making. Other men may buy all the gifts you could ever want but will not stand up for you in a crisis, will not fight to protect you and may appear weak or wishy washy to you in other ways.
When we love someone, we take the whole package, good and bad, strong and weak, romantic and indifferent, and all those other dichotomies that exist within each and every one of us. The question to always ask yourself is this: Do I love this person? Can I love this person even if he or she does not give me what I think I want and need? Can I still love this person if I do not receive what I perceive that others are receiving?
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