Do You Believe Life Would Be Wonderful with the ‘Right’ Partner?

By

Do You Believe Life Would Be Wonderful with the ‘Right’ Partner?
Many men and women find themselves searching for the “right” partner, their "soul mate."

Many men and women find themselves searching for the “right” partner, the “one” perfect match for them, their “soul mate.”  Yes, once in a while someone seems to wander the world alone and then appears to strikes gold when they meet that man or woman of their dreams.  And they walk out into the sunset together.


I know this sounds romantic and probably feels wonderful.  But how long do those outrageously delightful feelings usually last?  Actually, it doesn’t take very long (as little as a few days or weeks to a few months or even a couple of years) for the bubble to burst.  Sooner or later, real life enters into the picture and if you are not prepared for reality you are about to enter the school of hard knocks.  That “perfect” soul mate has a dark side, a weak side, an angry side, a flirtatious side, a cheating side, a dishonest side, and other qualities that don’t fit your original perfect picture.  And that person who was so sensitive, so attentive, so focused on pleasing you may relax, take the relationship in stride, and focus their attention on work or friends or outside activities that may or may not include you.


Beware of quick and easy promises for finding true and lasting loveIntimacy develops over time as communication deepens, trust develops and both people are getting their most basic emotional needs met.  Most of us want to find a quick and easy solution, without having to put much effort into it and without having to change any of our thoughts, beliefs or behaviors.


Even if you do have the good fortune to find the man or woman of your dreams, the relationship only begins when you first meet.  That is the easy part if you both fit the desired image of the other.  The test of whether you are able to develop a lasting love relationship is not based on assisting your partner to change whatever is not working.  A truly satisfying relationship involves working together, but if your partner is not yet ready to do what it takes, YOU can be the one to create the love your desire.


How do you do that?  You look in the mirror and ask yourself, “What can I do now to make this relationship better?  How can I make my partner feel accepted, loved and appreciated at the same time that I get my own love needs met?”  Sometimes, the mere process of self-reflection causes a shift in your habitual interactions and newly loving behaviors and attitudes emerge from both of you.  Often, however, the only way to get through the gradual blocking of pleasure and distancing of open communication is to seek professional help.  Even a few counseling sessions can get you both back on track.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Erica Goodstone

Author

I have the unique habit of caring about you and seeing your greatness when you may temporarily have blinders on. I will lovingly nudge you into a state of self-acceptance, self-appreciation and receptivity to the love of others.

My life's work is to help you create and allow healing and love in your life and all your relationships. You create healing in your body by removing impediments to your natural immune system functions. You create love in your relationships by accepting and appreciating the unique gifts that each and every person has to offer, and that includes YOU.

Find a Kindle Book about love, touch, healing, sexuality, spiritual reawakening and more.

Discover the 9 Love Secrets in Dr. Erica's interview by David Riklan from SelfGrowth.com

Schedule a private coaching or counseling session: DrEricaWellness.com

Hire Dr. Erica to speak at your next event:  DrEricaGoodstone.com

Visit my Blog: CreateHealingAndLoveNow.com/blog

Like my Facebook Page: HealingThroughLove

Get your FREE RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS REPORT:DrEricaWellness.com


 

Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: LMFT, LMHC, LPC, MA, MFT, NCC, Other, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Erica Goodstone:

Love Is Ending: Divorce Is Near

By

Spring is here. Love is in the air. Romance is blooming. Couples are meeting, smiling, holding hands and loving each other. Unless... they feel as if they've had enough, they're angry, they're bored, they've lost interest, they feel betrayed, or they just want a change. Divorce is not my favorite topic. When I work with couples, my ... Read more

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds, But Focusing On These 9 Things Will

By

Do you believe that if you focus on just 9 areas of your life you can actually heal all of your relationships? Does that seem too good to be true? Is that really possible? Not only is it possible, it is the only way to truly heal your relationships! Remember the saying, "Time heals all wounds"? The truth is, time heals wounds that have been ... Read more

YOU Make A Difference!

By

Your Actions Don't Really Matter, Do They? Do you sometimes think that your actions don't matter, that perhaps you are just part of a group and you will hardly be noticed? Yes, sometimes in a very large group—at a conference or large event—you may be able to slip quietly away and not be noticed, but if you are involved in a small ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular