Can Your Relationship Survive After Cheating?
By Dr. Erica Goodstone. Posted on .
How can counseling or positive coaching alleviate the pain and distress of both partners when the lying, cheating and betrayal has been revealed? Isn't the damage already done and the best solution to dissolve this painful relationship? 11 Myths And Facts About Cheating
Yes, sometimes the best immediate solution is to end the relationship. But it is important to understand why you are choosing finality. If your goal is to "get even" with your partner, that may feel good for only a brief period of time. However, it does not erase the trauma, rejection, and loss of self-esteem or the sense that you have lost your dream of this wonderful relationship lasting a lifetime.
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What choice to make depends upon many factors. What do you believe is the basic character style of your partner and what do you believe are the real reasons for the infidelity? Sometimes the betrayed partner has been neglecting the relationship and the cheating person's needs for a long time. Some couples remain together even though both are really unhappy and it takes one person to do something different to cause the breakup.
The partner who has lied and cheated may be surprised to feel emotional turmoil if the betrayed partner decides to leave. The cheater may actually feel love for the partner he or she has hurt. The reasons for cheating may not be due to lack of love or lack of sexual desire for the partner. Unfaithful? Me Too. [VIDEO]
This is where the problem becomes complex and one simple answer does not work for every couple and every situation. I do believe "When there is love, there is a way," even after infidelity and betrayal. Counseling sessions can either help to salvage a fractured relationship, or they can help each person to finally understand their own thoughts and feelings and one or both may discover that this relationship no longer serves them the way it once did.
Each person can start to understand the interpersonal dynamics that led up to this point and may more easily forgive themself and the other person. Although the counseling process can be temporarily painful, the only way out is through. Once all the emotions have been expressed, each person can gradually heal as they let go of the relationship and get ready to start socializing again. 7 Suggestions For Saving Your Sinking Relationship
Counseling and psychotherapy are not instant gratification solutions. They provide a safe and private place to explore what is going on in your life and your relationship in light of your personality, family history, and personal dreams and goals. Before you destroy the possibility for recreating and reviving a previously painful relationship, please consider seeking counseling from a qualified professional. You may be able to salvage something worth having and recreate your relationship to become the way you always dreamed it would be.
It is possible to return from emotionally distraught, conflict ridden interactions to a state of emotional acceptance, forgiveness, sensual and sexual passion, and love. How important is your relationship to you? Are you willing to face the problems head on and do what it takes to work through them to the other side?
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